by Matt Dunbar

Valentine’s Day always wins. No matter how many times we protest the holiday as the sinister conspiracy of the Hallmark-Russel Stover-Pajamagrams industrial complex, or cite its offensively apocryphal origins (St Valentine wasn’t really the patron saint of love, but actually a divorced, sexually incompetent pharmaceutical salesman from New Jersey), Valentine’s Day always comes out on top. At the stroke of midnight on February 15th, we will either be desperately relieved to be lying next to the person we love, or dismayed that the search will require still more time, effort, and Smirnoff.

But while pretty much terrible for everybody involved, Valentine’s Day is especially cruel to one particularly wretched subspecies of the romantically forlorn: the long-distance dater. Convinced for God knows what reason that the only person on Earth they are compatible with requires a TSA patdown to reach, they attempt to defy the basic laws of physics, human behavior, and testicular depression. While their single brethren troll bars and parties for some holiday-induced hookup, those in a long-distance relationship celebrate the 14th by blocking out an extra hour on GChat with their significant other before retiring to their cold, empty and depressingly underutilized twin mattresses.

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by Blogbot

There’s been a lot of talk around the SG office about what to get our men for Valentine’s Day. Girls are pretty easy to buy for; flowers, chocolate, Champagne, lingerie, fragrance, candles, and jewelry may lack originality, but that’s not always a bad thing. However shopping for the man in your life is a little harder. Turns out there’s a reason for that: What they really want can’t exactly be bought in a store.

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Casca, Perdita, and Shotgun

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: My question is one that plagues almost anyone who is interested in someone else: should I keep trying or should I just give up? About 3 months ago I met a girl that I have fallen madly in love with. She is a few years older than me and works at a music store that I went in to. Fom that day on I have dreamed about her every night that I have slept. Every weekend since then I have found reasons to go in there and buy something just so I could talk to her. I gave her concert tickets a few weeks after meeting her (I had to work that night so I couldn’t use them) and she gave me her phone number. I texted her the next day to ask her if she enjoyed the concert, and she replied back telling me she did.

Hopeless Romantic

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Bow, Jaeci and Yesenia

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I am a 22 year old, large American that is broke, underemployed, and single. The hardest part is that there is a girl that is way out of my league that I like. I am talking a grade “A” American beauty. She’s a smart, funny, down home country girl. My problem is that I really enjoy hanging out with her and what not, but I have no idea how to take the next step with her and get to that romantic part in the relationship. I mean we go to dinner and watch movies together already, but she is on the friends thing, where I am trying to get it to the next level. How do I see if the next step is an option with her without ruining our current relationship?

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by Brad Warner

I’ve been included in a Facebook group made up of people who are trying to plan my high school class’s reunion. I’ve never gone to any of the others – if there even were any others. I was living in Japan when they would have happened.

So last week on this FB group someone posted: “It’s Friday night, what would you have been doing on a Friday night in January back when we were in high school?” And people are posting stuff like they would’ve been out at a party at someone’s house, or with a bunch of friends doing donuts in the school parking lot or cruising by McDonald’s, which was the closest thing Wadsworth, Ohio had to a hang-out spot after the local Red Barn closed down (a prize to anyone who knows what a Red Barn was).

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Eevie, Morgan and Fabrizia

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I have a female roommate whom I’ve lived with for a few months shy of 6 years. The kicker is the first two and a half of those years we were dating. Eventually we both realized we weren’t forever and had a very amicable break up. Since neither of us could afford to live alone, and we could obviously tolerate living together – we’re still great friends – we’ve continued being roommates (we even moved once and are planning another). While she’s been dating fairly regularly since our break-up, I’ve just recently started dating again (been working on me stuff). My question is this: when do I bring up the specifics of my living situation? I’ve been pretty open about my roommate being a lady, but can’t decide when it would be best to mention she is also my last girlfriend. Suggestions?

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by Darrah de jour

In the United States, faith-based abstinence-only programs in schools have received $ 1.3 Billion in government funding between 1982-2008. This “save yourself until marriage” agenda has a 90% failure rate. Rationalizing this kind of spending on an essentially faith-based agenda – as opposed to comprehensive sex education, which teaches students about birth control, such as condoms, as well as abstinence – in a country that has a supposed buffer (yeah, right) between church and state begs any thoughtful, sex-loving or even moderately literate human being to ask WTF?

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