by Damon Martin

During the holiday season, atheists in America and Canada are letting everyone know they are still good without God. The message has been spread across buses and billboards throughout North America to send an alternative message during this normally oversaturated time of religious rejoice.

Groups like Secular Samaritan, American Humanist Association, and the Centre for Inquiry are responsible for the Christmas time ad buys. The gospel they’re trying to spread with these billboards is that goodness and morality are not in the exclusive domain of those that believe in a higher power.

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By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

[Salome in Pop Art Clash ]

Q. I’m 26, he’s 50. I really like him, he is respectful, thoughtful, humble, smart, funny, and just an overall wonderful person with good energy. We have been seeing another for about 3 months now. I was in a bad living situation, and I just moved in with him over the weekend. We both have every intention of this being temporary. I know my feelings will get stronger, as they already have in the last month. He occasionally makes jokes about our age difference, and I feel that it bothers him. I’ve never dated anyone even close to his age, nor did I ever see myself doing so, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I guess I’m just wonderingly what the chances are of things working out.

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by Brad Warner

I first got interested in spiritual practice when I was a teenager and my parents sat me down and told me about the horrible disease that runs in our family. It was, at the time, killing two of my aunts. This disease, they told me, usually begins to manifest when a person gets to be in his mid-thirties. The symptoms get progressively worse and after a while you lose your ability to physically function, your brain deteriorates, you go crazy and then you die.

As if my life weren’t already shitty enough, being an uncoordinated nerd who couldn’t play sports, was shy around girls, and had zits and braces. Now I was going to die a horrendous death before I had time enough to get over this stuff.

Wonderful. Just super.

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by Blogbot

We love this cheeky clothing line created by 4th Amendment Wear, which is guaranteed to put a smile on your face this holiday season while the TSA are jingling your balls. The innovative undies aim to remind TSA workers conducting freedom gropes and porn-o-scans of our 4th Amendment rights – you know the ones in the increasingly ignored Bill O’ Rights that say a little something about “the right of the people to be secure in their persons, blah, blah, blah, against unreasonable searches and seizures” without “probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation.” The text is printed in a metallic ink that the manufacturers say “in theory” should show up on TSA scans, and is thoughtfully laid out in easy to read (if slightly small) capital letters (which ironically may provide myopic operatives with a legitimate excuse to move in closer to eyeball the text atop your junk).

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By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. There is a girl that I have been trying to date for more than a couple months now. She loves video games, swears and drinks just as much as I do, and has an overall awesome personality. She has told my friends on multiple occasions that she likes me, and wants me to go for it. Here is my dilemma: one of our mutual friends, that she has known way longer than me, I’m pretty sure is deeply in love with her. This is why my decision has taken so long, and now it seems like I have lost my opportunity. I always put my friends before myself, and it always seems to hurt me in the end. I have waited so long, and now it seems like my chance is blown. Though her and I are still friends, it doesn’t seem like she still has the same feelings she once did. Do these feelings really just go away? Should I forget the whole thing, or should I just grow some balls and confront her?

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by Brett Warner

“In the United States, Christmas has become the rape of an idea.”
– Richard Bach

“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.”
– Randall Graves

My enemy is a short, middle-aged African American woman wearing a purple felt winter coat and black leather gloves. We’re standing in the Politics section of Borders Books in the Southland Mall of Taylor, Michigan with one of my co-workers and a tall, white sweater-wearing man looking on from the sidelines. I’m holding a small hardcover book — not shelved in Politics, as the woman had claimed, but in Sociology. Caught mid-task in the midst of Holiday mall shopping pandemonium, she’d asked for help finding a book in this section. Escorting her here, a quick look on the Book Search computer revealed the title’s true location.

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By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. So a couple who are both friends of mine have approached me and asked me if I’d participate in a threesome with them, partly because I’m the token bi friend and partly because the guy kind of has a thing for me. The girl, being the one I’m closer to, was the one who asked. I accepted, because it could be fun, because better me than someone who’ll hog the guy in front of his girlfriend and otherwise not give a shit about them, and because I’m kind of curious how I’ll act in it.

Please help. We’ve scheduled it for the end of the month, when she’s home from University, but the guy and I have no idea if we should go through with this.

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