by SG’s Team Agony feat. Leandra

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I met the girl of my dreams a little over a year ago at work. I have a rule of not dating anyone I work with after past bad relationships. She defines SG to a T. Everything about her was perfect and we connected a ton, both at work and after she quit.

Now she won’t return my emails or calls. I just want my best friend back. She’s the only girl I felt truly about. She was someone that I didn’t just want to sleep with when I had her alone in my place and on my bed. She’s hands down the coolest chick I have ever met, and would want nothing more than to have my best friend back. She is the one.

A: I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. Does it help any that I just went through something similar? It’s been months and he is the only man I cannot forget, the only man I was absolutely sure I was meant to be with. He was a man I was packed up and ready to move for. Then, five days before I was meant to drive to another state to move in with him, it was over. I guess I’m just saying, I know the pain, I know the agony. I know that sometimes you can feel everything is okay, and then suddenly it’s like a punch to the gut. And when something like this happen to you, you’re overwhelmed with emotion and sadness.

I have found the key to a situation like this though…

You can’t keep fighting for someone who does not return your feelings. I am not saying she doesn’t care for you, and, though I don’t know her, you do make it sound like she rushed into the marriage. Having said that, she is now married – she is a married woman. I am sure her husband would not be too happy about you guys talking. You need to respect that and give them their distance. What will be will be!

Please stop calling and emailing. Don’t text. She isn’t returning them for a reason – and this is the key – to force you to realize the truth of the situation, to help you let go and give in to it. You can’t change it. You’ve tried. You fought for her and did your best. You feel bad for what you said to her, and have obviously shown that to her. You need to do your best to let go my friend. I know it hurts. I know it’s painful. I know what it’s like to believe in the deep dark bottom of your soul that they are THE ONE. She’s not. He wasn’t. We move forward. Onwards and upwards. There ARE others out there. You’ll eventually find someone you mesh with even more and can settle down with, if that’s what you want.

I always wonder about the future, will I hear from him in months or years to come? Will you hear from her? Only time will tell, but for now you’re only torturing yourself by reaching out and getting nothing back. I think this reply to you would be a little different if she wasn’t taken, if she wasn’t married. But she is. You must respect that and respect their relationship, whether you agree with it or not. If you care for her as you say you do, then you will do this for her. It’s obviously what she wants since she is not reaching back out to you or replying.

Please try to move forward. Realize, although you care for her a whole damn lot, that she isn’t the only girl out there for you. The right one is out there and soon enough you will find her.

Stay strong. Time is a healer, a cliché but true.

Leandra
xxxxx

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Blogbot

Earlier this year, SG radio presenters Nicole Powers (SG’s Managing Ed), Lacey Conner (all round rockstar and recovering VH1 reality TV star), and Darrah de jour (SG’s Red, White & Femme post-feminist sex and sensuality columnist) were joined in studio by actress turned lifestyle guru Mariel Hemingway and her partner, stuntman and fitness expert Bobby Williams. Together they have developed a holistic regimen, which they call The Willing Way.

The pair spent a full two hours in the SG Radio studio explaining their all-encompassing mind, body, and soul philosophy. Going from yin to yang, we discussed the importance of getting enough sunlight in your life (Mariel and Bobby like to watch the sun rise and set each day, though they avoid the burning midday rays), and how to keep darkness at bay. With her life having been touched by several suicides, Mariel spoke about how she battled her own depressive tendencies, and how she has empowered herself to find a sense of wellbeing.

This being SG Radio, there was also plenty of laughter, and lots of conversation on our favorite subject – sex. Thus, the first hour of our show was devoted to talk of orgasms – and the importance of having a healthy diet of them, in order to achieve a truly balanced life.

Whatch the video above to see edited highlights from this very special SG Radio show!

For more information follow Mariel and Bobby / The Willing Way on Twitter.

Vassilis Suicide in It Just Is

• INTO: Kung Fu, chillaxing, music, naughty behavior, sexy tattoos, and piercings.
• NOT INTO: People who are stupid because they are to lazy to be any other way.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Penguins, hanging with friends, reading a good book, learning new things, road trips.
• MAKES ME SAD: Considering where I live it’s a LONG list, which includes running. Running is a terrible activity, and should be banned.
• HOBBIES: Kung Fu, reading, drawing, writing.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: I can’t name just five things…definitely my books, my laptop, my cellphone, my car, my bed, my jeans, my iPod…Okay, I’m just going to land up listing everything so I am going to stop now 😉
• VICES: Not having a brain/mouth filter, being a HUGE flirt, being stubborn, chocolate.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Training or teaching, reading, studying, hanging with my favorite people.

Get to know Vassilis better over at SuicideGirls.com!

by Laurelin

The old woman cupped my hand in hers. Narrowing her eyes and making a clicking noise in the back of her throat she looked up and smiled warmly. “You are untrusting in love,” she said. “Why? What is there to worry about, you have had two great heartbreaks in your life and they are over, it’s time to put the past behind you. I look in your eyes and see such warmth, too bad you cannot speak with your eyes.” She lets my hand go and it falls into my lap. I guess that lady gets paid to say those things, but at 2 AM in New York City it suddenly seems so real, and I walk back through Times Square to my hotel wondering about what she said. Was she right? Was I totally untrusting?

I went on a date the other night with a bartender from a trendy bar downtown. He wasn’t anything like me, and while once that would have really frightened me, now it seems really appealing, challenging, intriguing. I had a great time, and at the end of the night back home at my apartment I found myself smiling stupidly, wishing my roommate was home so I could talk her ear off about it. I never heard from that guy again, and it was a bit unsettling for a few days. What did I do wrong? This was so typical.

After a few days of not hearing back I moved on; not everyone gets an explanation as to why something doesn’t work out. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself a little bit — here I was wondering why everything seemed to click when it didn’t really. Who does that? “You do that,” my roommate points out. “You do that all the time. Have a great time and then freak out and run away and never tell the guy why. That’s like, your favorite thing to do!” I think about it and I can’t help but laugh, at myself, at the poor guys I have dated in the past five months, and at the whole situation in general. She’s right, I have an inability to tell the truth when it comes to wanting to end something before it really starts; I just slither back to my bar scene life and immerse myself in work. One can always trust the reliability of a 45 hour work week. Does that make me untrusting? Easily bored? Non committal?

I have always considered trust in relationships to be something that is created over time once you find someone who doesn’t drive you nuts. All of a sudden I realize that I’m looking at the cell phone you left on my nightstand when you were rushing to work and I roll over and go back to bed – instead of flipping through your texts. I’m left alone in your apartment and your computer is right there with your e-mail up on the screen, and I sign out and into mine without even a second glance. You want to go out with your friends to the strip club with an eight ball of cocaine in your pocket? Sure, have a good time. I trust you. See? I can be trusting.

That old lady was wrong. I have trust in a lot of things. I trust that my friends will get me through anything. I trust that I’m a good judge of character, and that even if something doesn’t work out that I chose that person or that path because I saw something good in it, because I thought that it would make me a better person. I trust that I will not always do the right thing but that I will know the difference between the two, and that I will do better next time, be stronger and able to learn from my mistakes. I might be untrusting in love, but that is only because a lot of times the way it’s ended up for me has left me feeling like I trusted something that wasn’t real, or that was only real for a little while and that is devastating. I was never mislead, nor was I ever misleading to anyone I ever called mine. If I mislead you, you were never mine, nor I yours.

Untrusting in love seems normal to me to an extent; it’s good to be cautious with your heart after you have spent so long learning to trust yourself. I’ll open up when the time is right. For now, the only trust I need is from the bartender shaking my martini or muddling my mojito. It’s almost summer time, and I smell some really poor life choices on the horizon. If there’s one thing I can trust in, it’s that.

[..]

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World…

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.

(Catch up with the previous installments of Killswitch – see links below – then continue reading after the jump…)

[..]

by Fred Topel

I go back a long way with the writer/directors of the fourth American Pie movie. I saw their first film Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle months before it was out and interviewed them for a screenwriting magazine that is long defunct. In fact, we met at the Newsroom Café outside of New Line Cinema, which is also now defunct, absorbed by Warner Brothers.

Fresh out of college, the writing duo was ambitious and enthusiastic about entering the comedy landscape. Back in 2004, the R-rated comedy was just making a comeback with Old School, and Wedding Crashers and The Hangover were years away. As ‘80s children and comedy junkies, they wanted to give this generation the comedies that would play every night in dorm rooms across the nation.

We got to catch up every time they wrote a new Harold and Kumar movie, one of which they directed. Now they’ve been handed the reigns of American Reunion. They decided to bring back every single actor from the first American Pie, including those who were not included in American Wedding. They also ignored the four straight to video movies under the American Pie brand.

In Reunion, Jim (Jason Biggs) go back to their high school reunion and see what’s become of their classmates, and clash with the current high school seniors. A virginal 18-year-old is throwing herself at the happily married Jim, and he still ends up caught naked in the kitchen, and later practicing dominatrix role play with Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). These days, the guys have grown up themselves, with marriages and children of their own. They still like to tell dirty jokes though about penises and MILFs.

Read our exclusive interview with Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg on SuicideGirls.com.

Casanova Suicide in Nostalgia

• INTO: Surfing the web, drinking, partying with friends, sleepovers, pillow fights, cats, long drives (especially at night), living life and smiling every day – all day.
• NOT INTO: Fighting, politics, hangovers, doing dishes, small yappy dogs.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: My friends, my family, my kitten, shopping, eating junk food all day while sitting on the computer blogging about how much fun last night was…even if I can’t remember it.
• MAKES ME SAD: Saying goodbye, sad movies, finding out my milk has expired, pulling my iPod out only to find it’s dead.
• HOBBIES: I make jewelry, vintage shop, blog about living richly for cheap, surf the web for various reasons, and I also collect masks.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My Computer, my kitten, my credit card, Vans Era’s, sunglasses.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Sitting on the computer or partying. If I’m not doing one of those two things, something is probably wrong with me LOL.

Get to know Casanova better over at SuicideGirls.com!