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Jul 2011 11

by SG’s Team Agony feat. Salome, Dorsal, and Morgan

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Salome in Pop Art Clash ]

Q: I am 25 years of age. When I was 18 I used to be the kid that played every sport you can imagine. I was not a jock though. I never made fun of kids. In fact I would get along with everyone – skaters, stoners, gangbangers, etc. At 18 I had a chance to play college basketball and I went to get a physical. I complained I had a little pain in my back when I ran and so forth, so the doctor suggested I get an X-ray. I come to found out I have Scheuermann’s disease and spinal stenosis. The first thing I said was, “Can I still play ball?” The doctor said “no” because if I took too hard of a hit I could get paralyzed. I said, “Well shit you that just ruined my life.” The doctor also told me he couldn’t perform surgery because it would just make it worse.

I had to start taking pain meds, and they seemed to mess up my system. I won’t go into detail because it’s not very fun to be honest, and I do not want to gross you out. Let’s be honest, me telling this story is kinda hard…My point is, I ended up having a surgery where I have a bag on my stomach. Now the real question is this: How the hell am I going to get a girl with this on me?

I have not taken a date in over a year. I have had no sex in over a year, just for the fact I don’t want to make a girl uncomfortable. I know I could be the greedy guy and not tell her at all and just pray she doesn’t notice in the dark, but I am really not like that. The other question is, should I just be upfront with the girl on the first date and tell her all this? If I do, it seems like too much info. But then after the first date, what happens if we really hit it off? I’d feel like I would be letting her down if I told her on the second date and she wasn’t chill with it.

I’m in a catch 22 here ladies. I have thought about this for a long time. Hope you can go ahead and give me an answer. I really want a girl’s point of view.

[..]

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Jul 2011 11

Zoli Suicide in Video Chat

  • INTO: Making fun of myself, playing the drums, cooking, traveling, eating lots and lots of good food, meeting fun and interesting people, HOT pink, sex, make-up, fashion, BDSM, beautiful women, and much, much more!
  • MAKES ME HAPPY: I find enjoyment in many many things…I enjoy a good conversation, someone I can sit and do nothing with, being a total goof-ball, spontaneity, etc.
  • MAKES ME SAD: Drama, homophobia.
  • HOBBIES: Playing drums, cooking, traveling, spinning poi.
  • VICES: Caffeine, cigarettes, sex.
  • I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Free time? What is this free time you speak of? Ha ha!

Get to know Zoli better over at SuicideGirls.com!


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Jul 2011 09

by Damon Martin

Republican Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann doesn’t like porn, abortion, or promiscuity. She hates it so much, she’s signed a pledge to prove it! The essence of the pledge is that the candidates who sign it must commit to upholding the oaths contained within should they make it to office, which means Bachmann is now 100% committed to ending both abortion and pornography (it’ll be interesting to see how she’ll legislate against promiscuity – will sex before marriage become a custodial offense?).

On Friday, Bachmann put her signature on ‘The Marriage Vow – A Declaration of Dependence upon Marriage and Family‘ a two-page document authored by Iowa pastor Bob Vander Plaats.

Vander Plaats is actually trying to get all presidential candidates to sign his wacky pledge, which calls for a ban on pornography, and contains verbiage condemning gay marriage, while also suggesting that the African American family unit was better off during slavery.

[..]

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Jul 2011 09

By Nicole Powers

“I think if you were ever to meet a character like Captain Jack, I think the most monogamous woman in the world would probably go for him – it’d be hard not to.”
– Eve Myles

Gwen Cooper traded her ho-hum career as a policewoman to work as a professional alien catcher at Torchwood, an organization which legend has it is “separate from the government, outside the police, and beyond the United Nations.” Eve Myles, the Welsh actress who plays Gwen, in turn, has traded her life in very legitimate theater for one in the warped and sexy science fiction universe.

[..]

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Jul 2011 08

by Flux

Every week we ask the ladies and gentlemen of the social web to show us their finest ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday; our favorite submission from Twitter and Tumblr each wins a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

Check out this week’s winners below:


From Twitter:


@HairbyDeezy has a fantastic, sweet portrait of her mom!

From Tumblr:


squidbeard has a nautical scene with a killer cephalopod.

If you haven’t won this week, don’t forget that you can enter each week until you do, so good luck next Tuesday, and happy inking!

A few things to remember:

  • You have to be 18 to qualify.
  • The tattoo has to be yours…that means permanently etched on your body.
  • On Twitter we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

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Jul 2011 08

by Aaron Colter

If you weren’t aware, a group called LulzSec has been causing mischief around the web for the past month or so, most notably unveiling the insanely lax security policies of Sony’s user accounts and dumping the email logs of the Arizona Police Department, which, like the diplomatic cables uncovered by Wikileaks, weren’t shocking so much as they confirmed negative assumptions – that the American government does, in fact, work with countries around the world for the benefit of multination corporations, and that too many police officers are egomaniacs with a hatred of anyone other than clean-cut white men.

LulzSec hit the websites of governments around the world, including Italy, Spain, and England, dumped the names of right-wing secret police in Columbia, accessed parts of the FBI, the CIA, AOL, and AT&T, and posted the image below on the PBS website for airing a biased documentary about Wikileaks and accused soldier Bradley Manning.

Before disbanding last weekend, LulzSec partnered with the Anonymous campaign to target institutions that restrict freedom of speech on the Internet, like the U.S. Senate, which caused them to become a target for others in the hacker community, as well as the topic of debate in the news. The group, reportedly made up of only six core members, recently called it quits on their 50 day sail of laughs, some say due to increased scrutiny from law enforcement agencies around the world, and the revealed identities of some members, potentially stemming from IRC chat-room leaks.

[..]

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Jul 2011 08

by Mur Lafferty

SuicdeGirls presents the fifteenth installment of our Fiction Friday sci-fi series, Marco and the Red Granny, which is brought to you by SG columnist Mighty Mur a.k.a. cyber commentator Mur Lafferty.

Marco and the Red Granny is set in a not-so-distant future where an alien species, the Li-Jun, has transformed the moon into the new artistic center of the universe, where the Sally Ride Lunar Base soon gains the nickname “Mollywood.” These aliens can do amazing things with art and the senses, allowing a painting, for example, to stimulate senses other than sight. However, humans remain suspicious of the Li-Jun’s emotion-imbued goods, so while their entertainment can be beamed back to earth, a trade embargo prevents anything from being physically imported to the planet.

In the previous installments, Marco, a writer whose career has long been in the doldrums, gets a surprise call from an agent he thought he no longer had informing him that he has received an offer from Mollywood for a much coveted Li-Jun patronage. Keen to catch up career-wise with his ex-GF Penelope, who’d unceremoniously dumped him after being recruited by the Li-Jun two years earlier, Marco hastily jumps on the next shuttle to the moon. Once aboard, he finds himself sitting next to a seemingly unassuming old lady called Heather, who turns out to be The Red Granny, a legend in Li-Jun’s reality show world for being a three-time champion of The Most Dangerous Game (which requires contestants to sign away the rights to their life).

After settling into his new accommodations at House Blue, Marco has a brief meeting with his new patron, a Li-Jun called Thirteen. It’s only then that Marco realizes he’s never been shown the terms of his employment, and a sense of unease sets in. That evening, Marco is taken on a trip to see The Red Granny in action in The Most Dangerous Game. After a bloody battle, the senior reality TV star is again victorious. The viciousness of the game leaves The Red Granny unconscious, and Marco shocked, disturbed, and in need of a stiff drink. Unfortunately stiff drinks are frowned upon by the Li-Jun, so Marco settles for an early night

The next day, Marco learns first hand about the process that enables the Li-Jun to put taste into paintings, music into pie, and stories into (nonalcoholic) beverages. Having had his deepest and most depraved memories dredged and thoroughly probed by the aliens so they can be monitored and recorded, Marco finally sees the terms of his contract. He ultimately accepts the Li-Jun’s too-good-to-refuse offer, and embarks on his new life at House Blue. However, though he’s been handed everything he ever wanted, somehow the reality of it is hollow.

Twenty thousand words into his new graphic novel, with his first deadline looming, Marco suffers from a severe case of writers block, and searches for inspiration in the bottom of a glass that’s actually had something worth drinking in it. To this end, he stumbles across an illicit drinking establishment on the seedier side of the moon which turns out to be run by a collective of folks who are strictly persona non grata as far as the Li-Jun are concerned – The Alcoholic’s Guild. There Marco has an uneasy encounter with a glass or three of gin, his ex-GF Penelope, who is now going by the name Knowledge, and her AG sponsor, Defect. After downing one too many drinks, Marco begins to get a sense of exactly how severe of an infraction the Li-Jun consider the consumption of alcohol to be.

While attempting to conceal his inebriation as he sneaks back into House Blue, Marco is caught red handed by his Li-Jun keeper Seven (it was probably his spontaneous vomiting that gave him away). The punishment is a second bout of mind raping/mapping. Afterwards, with his patronage in jeopardy, Heather gives him a ‘special’ necklace to calm his nerves and promises to plead his case with Thirteen.

The following morning, Heather takes Marco on a behind-the-scenes tour of the secret areas of House Blue where the Li-Jun infuse emotion into art. The Red Granny also reveals that everything created in Mollywood will soon be permitted to be legally imported back to earth. Duly inspired and placated, Marco is allowed to resume his patronage…However, that was before he got kidnapped twice in one day. The first time by Penelope/Knowledge and Defect of The Alcoholic’s Guild, who made him realize the Li-Jun had brainwashed him into compliance, and the second time by the Li-Jun, who were rather upset about the fact he’d just been fraternizing with said Alcoholic’s Guild – albeit initially unwillingly. Marco’s punishment for this infraction was laid out by his ‘friend’ Heather; He was to be a contestant in The Most Dangerous Game…

[..]