“I was used to the realities of sucking at something.”
– Justin Halpern, author of Shit My Dad Says
Justin Halpern is an ordinary guy who curates an extraordinary Twitter page. In less than a year it’s garnered over 1.3 million fans who follow Justin simply to keep track of the latest and greatest shit his dad says. Justin’s talent lies in realizing the aforementioned shit was of a superior quality to that emitted from other dad’s mouths. He also has a knack for conveying the underlying heart behind his father’s seemingly harsh witticisms.
Raised on a farm in Kentucky, Justin’s dad, Sam Halpern, is a man of few words – who knows how to make every syllable count. The exact opposite of passive-aggressive, Halpern, Sr. has never been backwards about coming forwards with his often-unsolicited opinions and words of advice. Growing up, this brutal honesty was difficult to deal with, but now Justin is reaping the rewards. His @ShitMyDadSays Twitter page has spawned a hilarious yet surprisingly touching book of longer vignettes — brilliantly retold by Justin — and a TV sitcom produced by Warner Brothers for CBS starring William Shatner, which was co-written by Halpern, Jr. in association with the team behind Will & Grace.
Growing up as a forced Catholic really fucking sucked. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I’m going to make a butt-fucking joke right? Nope. I was going to make a “getting up early on a Sunday” joke. It’s really the only thing worse than forced sodomy. But what those early Sundays were great for was shit booze. A little hit of something cheap and sweet when you’re half-awake really goes well with a slice o’ Christ. To this day I still don’t mind hitting the sauce a little early on the Day of Rest. Today I choose something cheap and purple. A little something called Four Loko Uva.
According to the webshite, Four Loko Uva (a.k.a. headache in a can), is named after a Brazilian berry of the same name. I’m guessing the berry doesn’t also contain taurine, guarana, caffeine, and 12 % ABV though. Yep, this shit has all that peppy stuff blended right in, not only making the drinker asshole-loud, but not able to pass out. Great.
I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time trying to come up with a fricking amazing, super simple macaroni and cheese recipe. I thought I had it perfected last year, but recent revisions have proven otherwise. So, I am sharing with you, because I love you so much, my favorite artery hardening formula for cheesy pasta fatty goodness.
Few bands manage to perpetually frustrate their fans the way Weezer does. With each new album, singer/songwriter Rivers Cuomo – a semi-secret musical genius, we’ve been instructed to keep in mind – continues to disappoint a very vocal legion of cynical, skeptical, and especially jaded twenty-to-thirty somethings with one word on their tongues: Pinkerton. No other album in rock history (save maybe Sgt. Pepper) gets tossed around as much; you won’t find any Weezer album review after 2001 that fails to mention it. The 1996 proto-emo classic was a commercial flop upon its release, but word of mouth and the band’s 5-year hiatus lifted it to cult classic status. Its supporters tend to hail the album’s intensely personal lyrics: a smorgasbord of frustrations aimed at groupies, lesbians, Asian girls, and Cuomo’s various other insecurities. Weezer’s latest album Hurley (their first on independent label Epitaph Records) has gotten some choice positive reviews, many comparing its rougher, lo-fi sound to Pinkerton’s – but still, many rock fans seem unwilling (or unable) to give the band another chance. To them, the deeply confessional tone of Pinkerton’s songs has been replaced on post-millennial Weezer records with sarcastic, ironic, sophomoric humor – when in actuality, Weezer have never been ironic. They are quite possibly the only completely honest, agenda-less band to come out of the ’90s alternative boom. So why the shift in general cultural opinion of the group? The reason why Weezer continues to frustrate listeners is because they draw attention to the generational shift between X and Y listeners. Throughout this significant transition in social attitudes, Weezer have remained remarkably consistent – we’re the ones who’ve changed.
Dame Darcy is a renaissance woman. The Idaho-born artist has crafted a broad and powerful body of work. She’s an illustrator and fine artist, a musician, dollmaker and designer. Her work has been exhibited in galleries around the world. In 2006, Penguin released a new edition of Jane Eyre heavily illustrated by her. She has an etsy store where she sells not just prints and original art, but dolls and other handcrafted work. She’s collaborated with Alan Moore and contributed to the Tori Amos comics anthology Comic Book Tattoo. Her other books include Gasoline and Frightful Fairytales.
