by SG’s Team Agony feat. Yesenia and Atlea

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I have been in a relationship now for about a year and a half. She is about to move into my house but we are both feeling somewhat hesitant. She is a wonderful person and we share such great times together. But, every time a relationship reaches this point, I feel like it is time to move on. I continually go through this same feeling throughout the course of my relationships and life, and I am starting to wonder if I can ever be happy with any one person or if I am bound to continually reject someone who loves me after a year or so with them?

Confused.

A: You will need to ask yourself some questions before making a decision. Are you afraid of commitment? Do you ‘settle’ for someone and hope for the best, later to realize the realtionship is empty? What are some key things that have kept you with her for this long?

Sometimes chemistry fades, and as much as you would like to be in love with that person, it may be out of your hands. Just be sure to rule out any other possibilities first. You may need some time to clear your head, alone. Think about why your past relationships did not work, and if it was something that could have been noticed earlier on. It would be hurtful to both of you if you stayed in a relationship only to escape the hurt of breaking up. That is not a life, and we only get one – so follow your heart.

Were things great until you two decided to move in together? The answer to that may help you understand your situation. Are you bored and looking for excitement? Maybe checking out new places together and trying new things in the bedroom will help. When things get too repetitive – they can cause your brain to freak out. It is important to keep things interesting, but feeling bored in a long-term relationship is normal. It is a common issue for couples around the world.

Try looking at old pictures of the two of you and see what emotions you get out of that. If you do end up moving in together, make sure you talk about what would happen if you two broke up. Decide who would move out, and who would continue to complete the lease – or maybe you would both pay to cancel the lease. Also, make sure it is an affordable position incase one has to pay it alone. This will help you not feel trapped and give you some breathing room.

Best of luck to you!

Just relax, kisses xxx

Yesenia

Q. Never in my life did I think that I would have an issue with finding a woman that was up for sex all the time. I’ve been dating my fiancé for a year now, engaged for about 5 months. We moved in together about 3 months ago. I am a very busy project manager for a construction company and put in at least 55-60 hours a week. She is taking her CPA exams right now, which is a real bear. To support her in her endeavor, I told her to not worry about ANY of the cooking, cleaning, or household tasks. I told her to focus solely on this ridiculous exam. So after I come home anywhere between 6 and 9 o’clock, cook dinner, clean up and get settled, I’m finally spent. 

Here’s the gist: Whether or not she leads on or not, I feel the constant burning and aching in her crotch from across the room to get fucked. I know that she’s always craving my cock. It’s never in question. This in itself is badass, however, it’s become exhausting. 



Pre-story: My last serious girlfriend of 3+ years was a little frigid, and used sex or the withholding of sex to her ends. It got to a point when we were living together that we might only have sex 2 or 3 times a month. At which point, I told her to kick rocks because she was essentially just a roommate. She used to say, like I’m starting to feel now, that because I was always ready to rock, that it felt like there was no intrigue or mystery to rolling in the hay. The irony for me is clear and present. 

I feel ashamed because I sometimes think that I enjoy giving myself a tug on SG more than I do having sex my very sexy fiancé. I think part of it is because the women on SG are unobtainable to me thus being more attractive to than my insatiably cock-hungry lady. I’m very attracted to my fiancé, but her constant attention and need to for sex has actually become a turn-off. I have pretty much told her everything I just expressed to you, but what do you say? 


A: First and foremost, you probably shouldn’t bother feeling ashamed about giving yourself some solo loving and enjoying it. What you do with your hands and body on your own time can be separate from your sexual life with a partner. Secondly, congrats on having already talked about the situation with her. You didn’t give me any details on how that conversation went, which could have kept me from making assumptions, but I’ll try my best at giving my advice.

You seem to indicate two separate reasons as to why her constant need is bothering you. First, you mention how hard you work and how much extra time you put in at home to help her out. Does this, on it’s own, cause you to be exhausted? You didn’t mention if she’s working on top of being in school, but even then, I think it’d be fair game to ask her to help out at least once or twice a week. This way, at least subconsciously, you don’t feel as much pressure and responsibility towards her and the promise you made to her to help her with school. This would make you feel like more like a team, and that synergy can help spark back appreciation and even sometimes desire with it. Also, your levels of exhaustion might be more balanced if she did a few more chores.

Sex, in itself, isn’t necessarily a reward. Since you do everything else, she could possibly see having sex as a way of letting you know how much she appreciates everything you do for her. But maybe that’s not exactly what you need. This, of course, is something you’ll have to find out and work through with her. Maybe the constant demand for sex, or satisfying your better half, is making you feel pressured into it and let’s just all agree here that sex and pressure are not to be used in the same sentence if the objective is having a good time.

The second reason you’re expressing here is that there might be a bit of a lack of desire on your part because sex is just too readily available. I mean there’s only so much free candy that can make you happy, right? Going from a past relationship where sex was the holy end to a ridiculous (and quite unfair, if she was holding out on you for her own means) quest, to a new relationship where it’s just so easy to get (even when you don’t want it) is tough! It’s hard for you to compare, and let’s face it, there are always things that we will compare. Not that this is necessarily an unhealthy thing, sometimes you learn from your mistakes but you need to remember them to be able to find a resolution best fitted for the situation at hand.

Let her know you need the chase. Tell her you’re still very much attracted to her, but you’d like to feel challenged at times. This might seem like an awkward thing to bring up, but it is the truth, and until she knows there’s no way she’ll be able to change that. Especially, like I mentioned before, if she thinks that this is what you’d want or expect. Maybe try playing some sex games, or introducing it in some other routine. Maybe don’t have sex every time she wants it, but take the time to appreciate the other parts of your bodies. Rediscover each other. Snuggle together without having the intention/pressure to fuck. But beforehand, make it clear to her that it’s not because you don’t appreciate sex with her, it’s more that you’d like some moments of pure intimacy with her and her body to just appreciate her as a whole.

Lastly, you mentioned that ‘whether she leads on or not’ you feel her constant need to get fucked. I can’t help but feel that unless she’s constantly asking and/or badgering you for it, maybe you’re actually putting a little too much pressure on yourself? Hopefully you’re not being your own enemy here, but it may be something to look into as well. In any case, take the time to find out how you both can work a schedule that leaves neither of you exhausted, and find a way to make sex and love part of the same whole. Sex should always be a fun adventure, so eliminate where the pressure’s coming from and the whole thing should work itself out.

Atlea

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by A.J. Focht

#Occupy protestors across the US are standing their ground as police and politicians do their best to drive them out. Out at the #OccupyDenver protest, the demonstrators remain unwavering despite the efforts of law enforcement agencies and Colorado’s bitter fall cold.

Following Denver’s first winter storm of the year on Wednesday, daily nighttime temperatures are consistently below freezing. The six inches of snow that accumulated wasn’t enough to defeat the #OccupyDenver crowd however. After a few protestors were admitted to the hospital for hypothermia, the group found a nearby indoor location where many of them can stay. Only a handful of steadfast activists are remaining in the park through freezing nights.

The cold isn’t the only adversary #OccupyDenver has faced. Local law enforcement refuses to allow the group to erect shelters, even going as far as to tear down an igloo that was made as a last attempt at protection against arctic weather. The food service station, dubbed the “Thunderdome” has been torn down several times; last time I checked they were on Thunderdome 4. With increasing aggressiveness on each raid, fears rise that the next police action will mirror what happened in Oakland.

The #OccupyDenver crowd has held several rallies. The last one was held on Saturday October 22, 2011 and attracted between 2,000 and 2,500 according to the police. The resistance continues, and more events are planned for this weekend. The cold has caused their general numbers to dwindle, but the consistent and persistent rallies ensure that they won’t be defeated.

#Occupy protests across the nation are accepting donations to help keep the movement strong. #OccupyDenver has sent out an urgent call to everyone who can help by bringing warm clothes, gear (including sleeping bags and tarps), and anything else that will help them combat the elements (hot drinks, hand warmers, etc.). The group keeps an up-to-date list of needs and requests at OccupyDenver.org, along with any updates on the event. If you want to join them, they are currently occupying Civic Center Park, in front of the Capitol Building. Finally, if you can’t make it down to support them, you can always call Denver Mayor Hancock at 720-865-9000 and add your voice to the collective.

No matter the brutal police violence in Oakland or the harsh nights of Colorado, the #Occupy movement is here to stay. Until the voice of the 99% is heard, and the 1% stop using their money to corrupt our government, the #Occupy movement will stand strong.

Images courtesy of OccupyDenver.org/
Huge gratitude to EisMC2 for her assistance with this post.

by Blogbot

Every week we ask the ladies and gentlemen of the social web to show us their finest ink in celebration of Tattoo Tuesday.

Our favorite submission from Twitter wins a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

This week, @skin_ink_addict wins with an awesome bare to the bones back piece.

If you haven’t won this week, don’t forget that you can enter each week until you do, so good luck next Tuesday, and happy inking!

A few things to remember:

• You have to be 18 to qualify.
• The tattoo has to be yours…that means permanently etched on your body.
• On Twitter we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World…

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.

(Catch up with the previous installments of Killswitch – see links below – then continue reading after the jump…)

[..]

by Blogbot

This Sunday our very special guests will be Love Junkie author Rachel Resnick, dating expert Marni Kinrys (of the Wing Girl Method), and SG’s Red, White and Femme post-feminist sex & sexuality columnist Darrah de jour. They’ll be chatting with hosts Nicole Powers (SG’s Managing Editor) and Lacey Conner (our resident recovering reality TV star from VH1’s Rock of Love and Charm School) about the issues surrounding sex and love addiction. When is a healthy sex life beyond healthy? Are hopeless romantics really hopelessly deluding themselves? Is sex and love addiction really a disease? Can it be cured? If so, how? And can we all learn healthier dating habits by understanding the issues raised by sex and love addiction?

Tune in to the world’s leading naked radio show for two hours of totally awesome tunes and extreme conversation – and don’t let yo momma listen in!

Listen to SG Radio live Sunday night from 10 PM til Midnight on Indie1031.com

Got questions? Then dial our studio hotline digits this Sunday between 10 PM and midnight PST: 323-900-6012

And cyberstalk us on Facebook and Twitter.

[..]

by Laurelin

I have a tattoo on my arm. Well, I have a lot of tattoos on my arm, but the focal point of the whole thing is a portrait of Anne Boleyn. People always ask me, “Why her? Didn’t she get her head chopped off?” Indeed, she did. But that’s not why I have it. Back in the 16th century in England women were expected to be beautiful and ladylike at all times, they were supposed to dance, sing, stitch, and take their place next to their husbands quietly, never betraying emotion, only smiling sweetly even during the worst pain. Anne is a constant reminder of that very behavior. She changed the course of history by never allowing her king to see weakness in spirit. Even after he sentenced her to death she still kept her head high. When I want to cry, I smile sweetly and never betray my feelings. Even when my heart is breaking or when I’m terrified, no one will ever know; I know my place and it’s to never falter.

I’ve always been a fan of the phrase “fake it ’til you make it.” If you act like you know what the hell is going, on people are more likely to think that you do. This can be applied to most any area of your life — most recently for me at work; a promotion at my music club in Boston finds me off the bar and in a brand spanking new manager role which leaves me terrified daily. I have no idea what I’m doing; all these fancy bands and employees now answer to me — I have never been in charge in my life! I just fake it. Act like I know what I’m doing, and it will all fall into place and one day I won’t have to act anymore, one day I really will be this boss lady.

This mantra can be applied to relationships as well. A recent breakup (yes, I know, another one) has left me slightly damaged. I don’t know exactly where it went wrong, but somewhere during our summer in the city we lost something, and it was too far gone to be repaired. Somehow the nights of drinking hadn’t led to those talks that bring people closer together, and instead of trying to fix it, we both allowed the rope to fray until finally, something snapped. We didn’t even have time to heal; working together only a day after the breakup was like rubbing salt into an open wound. I wanted to scream in everyone’s face as I smiled sweetly and took their drink order, “Do you know what this is doing to me?!” Never once did I stumble, and neither did he.

I don’t know if it’s hard for him to see me, and I wonder if he knows that every time I smile or laugh or even talk to him that it’s all an act, every move rehearsed, planned, like a puppet on a stage. I don’t hang out at our bar as much on my nights off, but when I do, every minute spent trying not to look at him feels like an hour. Whatever guy I’m talking to might as well be speaking French, that’s how much I’m paying attention. The room is nothing but a dull roar in the background of my mind, and all I am thinking is “don’t fall.”

There’s something to be said about the way I go about things. Maybe it’s not healthy, maybe it’s avoidance, running away, a sham. Who knows? Maybe this isn’t easy on him either, and watching me just go back to my single life is equally as trying on his shot nerves. I have no way of ever knowing. All I know is that every other time I have built this wall, one day, I wake up and I’m fine. By forcing this immediate friendship I am diving headfirst into daily trauma, but I am laying the groundwork for a normal future. I have no room in my life for hate, so even if I am bursting with anger he’ll never see it.

I know one day, just like all the rest of my ex’s, I will be able to call him a friend. One day I’ll be able to look at him and not have to fake a smile that will tug at the corners of lifeless eyes. One day I will walk into my music club and not shake after I interview an employee or ask a tour manager to please pay attention and sign this contract. Maybe this is life beyond the bar scene after all, being in control and in charge of work and my emotions even though I feel like running to the bathroom in tears. Maybe this is just growing up, accepting this feeling of being scared and alone but powering though because there is no other choice but to go on, no choice but to hold your head high and conquer anything because in this life failure is not an option.

[..]

by A.J. Focht

Joss Whedon is no mere mortal in need of rest and relaxation. After wrapping up The Avengers, Whedon used his month long vacation to do a secret shooting of an adaptation of Shakespeare’s masterpiece Much Ado About Nothing

JOSS WHEDON: Well, it’s not a bit secret that I’ve done these [Shakespeare] readings before, and I always had a vague notion of shooting Much Ado. But I didn’t really have a take on it. And then, for some reason, I kinda sorta did. As we were finishing The Avengers in New York, my wife and I were planning our vacation for our 20th anniversary. And she said, “Let’s not take the vacation. Make a movie instead.” I was like, “I’m not even sure if I can adapt the script, cast the movie, and prep it in a month.” And she was like, “Well, that’s your vacation time, so you do it.” And so I did.

–Source EW

Starring several members of the Whedonverse, the cast includes: Nathan Fillion, Alexis Denisof (Angel), and Fran Kranz (Dollhouse), amongst others. Shooting the film in only twelve days, the entire cast managed to keep the project secret until it was announced via a press release.

Whedon isn’t the only one moving past The Avengers in a hurry. Marvel has announced several superhero sequels for 2013. All the usual suspects are present: Iron Man 3, Thor 2, Captain America 2, and the long rumored Ant-Man is still on the list.

With three exceedingly mediocre movies based on The Punisher, it’s surprising to hear that he’s getting another chance, this time on TV. If anything could make this situation more shaky, Fox has purchased the rights to the series. Odds are it will either be fantastic and immediately get cancelled, or it’s going to be another agonizing hour of prime time that they’ll keep around for years to come.

Mark Hamill tweeted his goodbye to voice acting as the Joker after Arkham City was released. The goodbyes weren’t so final as he quickly reneged on his statement when asked about an adaption of the graphic novel The Killing Joke. After his confirmation he’d come back for such a project, a fan movement started to get the project in motion.

Zombies survive another year. After only two episodes this season, The Walking Dead has been renewed for a third season by AMC.

With so many other interesting TV series popping up, is it surprising to learn that Stephen King’s The Dark Tower has gone from film to television? Producer Brian Gazer reports that the series has been picked up by HBO. There is still the possibility of a movie, but they intend to ‘do it right.’

For those Star Wars fans not heart broken by the series being rereleased in 3D, the trailer for Episode I has made it online (though it was subsequently pulled from YouTube by Fox).

Moving onto more exciting sci-fi movies, Ender’s Game the movie has received an official release date of March 15, 2013. The film is still over a year out, but after a long rollercoaster ride of the project being off and on, it’s great to see a solid date.

First they released the sneakers from the Back to the Future movies, then they announced the rerelease of the DeLorean. As if in an attempt to make Back to the Future’s timeline absolutely correct, development of a real hoverboard is underway. The board currently needs a rail to guide it, but they have two years to fix that.

Pulling one straight from the Disney playbook, Warner Bros. will pull all Harry Potter DVD titles off the shelves on December 29, 2011; this includes the soon to be released Deathly Hallow Part 2. If you haven’t finished your collection, now is your chance. Who knows when Warner Bros. will release the films back into circulation? I’m betting no less than ten years.

Not the most shocking news, but Rockstar has officially announced Grand Theft Auto V. The preview will be released on November 2. I’m hoping they change things up a bit, perhaps a female protagonist?

On a final note, massive video game convention Blizzcon 2011 has come and passed. Several major announcements were made for World of Warcraft, including the introduction of the first neutral race, Pandaren. Most impressively, it looks like Blizzard plans on releasing three games next year, the expansions for World of Warcraft , Starcraft, and Diablo III.