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Nov 2011 16

by A.J. Focht

The internet exploded early Monday morning when Variety announced that David Yates, director of the final four Harry Potter films, was “teaming up with the BBC to turn its iconic sci-fi series Doctor Who into a bigscreen franchise.” The only problem with this was the BBC didn’t even know about it. A tweet from the BBC’s official Doctor Who Magazine said:

To those hearing Doctor Who movie rumours, it’s just the same rumours which have been going round for years. Nothing’s currently happening!

So for those of you who were hoping that the Doctor would finally make it to the big screen, it looks like you’ll have to wait a bit longer. Still, Yates seemed rather adamant; maybe something will come of it.

Thor director Keneth Branagh has revealed his reasoning for not returning to Thor 2. Turns out it was simply an issue of timing. Branagh didn’t have time to get back into the project quickly like Marvel needed. He also generously noted that he, along with many others, is excited about the new director Patty Jenkins.

The first previews from Middle Earth will likely hit this December. According to Andy Serkis (Gollum), the first trailers for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey should be in theatres this holiday season.

In a recent interview with TV Guide, Bruce Campbell talked about the decision to cut the role of Ash from the new Evil Dead. Campbell said that while the decision pissed many off, ultimately, they decided it was best not to run a direct parallel to the character, even though this is a remake. Campbell also notes that he wouldn’t have wanted to put any actor in that position, and I don’t blame him. Following in the footsteps of Campbell in his most famous roll would be rather daunting.

DC heroes aren’t just storming the comic stores, Cartoon Network is adding a block program called DC Nation that will feature several DC cartoons. During the sneak peek to the new Green Lantern animated series, Cartoon Network aired a teaser for the block program. It looks like many of the classic heroes, as well as some new ones, will be featured in the segment.

Geek news has been a bit lacking this past week. It might be because everyone has been stuck inside playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. The newest game in the COD franchise broke its own record selling more than 6.5 million units in less than 24 hours. While the game might have been the best seller, it wasn’t the only major game released this week; it was also competing with The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim and Assassins Creed Revelations.

Modern Warfare 3 is getting the sales, but it is one of lowest ranked games of the month generally pulling 8/10 and ‘B’ ratings. Batman: Arkham City, Skyrim, and Assassins Creed have been pulling in higher 9/10 and ‘A’ ratings. All of these games are likely to land one Game of the Year prize or another, although Skyrim and Arkham City have managed the highest reviews.

The Xbox 360 is the oldest system of the current generation on the market. After six years on the shelf, everyone is wondering when it will get a replaced for real and not just upgraded with accessories like the Kinect. That time might be closer than you think. New rumors report the next Xbox will be called the Loop. Those who claim to have the inside scoop say the system is smaller and cheaper than the current Xbox system, yet more powerful and next generation. We’ll just have to wait and see what comes of these rumors.

Finally, the final episode of Dragon Age Redemption starring Felicia Day is now live. For those who haven’t been following, it is an excellent web series based in the Dragon Age universe. If you haven’t tuned in, now is your chance to watch all of the episodes without the week wait in-between.

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Nov 2011 09

by A.J. Focht

Even the prequels are getting sequels. British actor Jason Flemyng who played Azazel in X-Men: First Class has said that a follow-up could soon be in the works. First Class was a surprisingly good addition to the franchise; hopefully tacking another one in won’t kill the series on a bad note.

Iron Man 3 is being shot in Wilmington, North Carolina. If you want to make the trip out there (or are lucky enough to live nearby), you can register to try and be one of thousands of extras needed for the shooting.

Over the last few weeks, dozens of set pictures and several videos from the shooting of The Dark Knight Rises have been leaked – see roundup here. A couple of major spoiler could be contained, including a characters death scene.

Not everyone is convinced that the Metropolis project is happening. For those of us still holding out hope, the Metropolis IMDb page now lists Joe Davola and Alfred Gough as the executive producers; Gough being one of the original creators of Smallville.

On the comic front, DC Comics continues to dominate. The New 52 has really paid off as DC pulled in over 50% of all comic sales last month.

J.J. Abrams reportedly is after Benicio Del Toro to play the roll of the villain in the up coming Star Trek 2. No one is quite sure who the main villain will be. Theories range from the return of Khan to the Klingon’s and everything in between. The last movie created an entire new timeline so the possibilities are endless.

We’ve known that there were plans to another Blade Runner film; Ridley Scott says the project is likely to be a direct sequel. Scott also said that the project is quite a ways along, and they are close to finding a writer.

Reports from Middle Earth have been scarce lately. Last week, Peter Jackson and the crew released the new video blog. The video covers the finer points of shooting The Hobit in 3D, with several on set shots. The first part of The Hobbit is set for release holiday 2012.

Do you want to forever immortalize yourself in the Whedon-verse? Well, if you’ll settle for a walk on role, this could be your chance. A walk on role in Whedon’s next project, In Your Eyes, is being auctioned on eBay. At the time of this writing, the bidding is up to $2,550. So how bad do you want it? Oh, and did I mention the proceeds go to The Adrienne Shelly Foundation.

Sad news from the land of Oz. Bruce Campbell’s cameo scene has been cut. Bruce tweeted that such things happen in epic flicks, and that there were no hard feelings toward Sam Raimi.

Barnes & Noble has revealed their tablet, complete with Marvel comics. As if almost in response to the Kindle Fire’s deal with DC, Barnes & Noble has released their own tablet featuring several of Marvels comics. The tablet is starting at $249 and is available on November 18.

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Nov 2011 09

by Mentalrage

Arkham Asylum pretty much set the standard for how good a game based on a comic book character and the world they inhabit could be. Previously, game’s based on comics were generally speaking either ill thought out, poorly executed, hurriedly produced tie-in’s with film properties or otherwise underwhelming and insulting to fans of both good games and the comics they were based on with very few exceptions.

Developer Rocksteady at that point had only produced the distinctly average Urban Chaos. Which made both their treatment of the Batman universe and it’s polished presentation and execution in Arkham Asylum all the more surprising.

Now the much-anticipated follow up Arkham City is upon us.

Simply put, Rocksteady has defined how to produce a follow up to a successful game. It builds on everything featured in the previous game, tweaking things here and there as well as adding plenty of new elements. Arkham City is an almost perfect example of digital alchemy, balancing deep lore that Bat fans will appreciate, but not to the extent that it will drive away gamers unfamiliar with the intricacies of Gotham City.

Arkham City finds a section of Gotham City partitioned off and transformed into a vast penal colony overseen by mysterious psychiatrist Hugo Strange. Bruce Wayne soon finds himself incarcerated in Arkham City for speaking out against Strange and it’s down to the Dark Knight to figure out what Strange is really up to and what “Protocol 10” is.

Chances are, unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last few decades, you’ll be familiar with at least some of the numerous villains that make up the Dark Knight’s rogues gallery (which is arguably the best in comics). Rocksteady has once again produced some great character designs with the Penguin re-imagined as a sadistic, eccentric Cockney wide-boy being just one of them. You can also look forward to seeing Mr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, The Joker, and Solomon Grundy, to name but a few, and that’s just the main story, there are side missions involving Bane, Mr. Zsasz, and The Riddler, plus additional Catwoman story missions which intertwine with the main story (her design is heavily influenced by Adam Hughes iconic take on the character).

The presentation all round is slick and highly polished. The Arkham facility which you find yourself in, with its array of buildings and alleyways, really feels like part of a city. It’s a gothic delight that’s equal parts urban decay and neon excess. These aren’t just random buildings either, Bat fans will pick up on numerous things like the building you first suit up as Batman in being Ace Chemicals. The voice acting is universally excellent with Kevin Conroy once again being a solid Dark Knight and Mark Hamil putting in another sublime performance as The Joker.

Unlike its predecessor you have a vast area that you’re free to explore open world style after the opening scenes. Gliding and grappling your way across the myriad of rooftops and perching upon a gargoyle before listening to a bunch of thugs debate whether crossing Two-Face or The Joker is worse before dropping out of the night sky and taking them all out is a thing of beauty it has to be said. If you’re so inclined you can actually spend a considerable amount of time just exploring before even starting any missions.

The downside of this new open world approach is Arkham City doesn’t have the claustrophobic story driven narrative of its predecessor, the varied selection of villains are battling each other for both territory and screen time it seems. Though I don’t think –– as impressive as Batman’s rogues gallery is –– there are many characters that would support a full story like The Joker, so in this regard Rocksteady has made a wise move.

To aid your navigation around Arkham City, Batman now has a divebomb move which can be used either as an offensive maneuver (once you’ve got the necessary upgrade) or can be used to gain height and speed by pulling up at the last minute before soaring into the night sky. Another addition is the line launcher, an adaptation to the Batclaw which enables you to travel horizontally between buildings and can even be fired mid flight to travel around corners.

Combat in Arkham City is built around the same mechanics as the previous game, but things have been tightened up with new options thrown into the mix too. Now you can use the numerous gadgets at your disposal in the midst of a fight easier. Watching a hammer wielding goon take out half his own men after being hit by the Remote Electronic Charge (a new addition) never gets old. Counter moves are a big factor in combat and learning the timing will literally save your life. Arkham City thugs aren’t completely brain dead either, they will team up on you and not just form an orderly queue while you take them out. Also if another gang of thugs is witness to your brawling, they’ll come steaming down the street and join the fray. This can result in facing a literal horde of bad guys where you can really show off your combat prowess.

One of the best things about combat in Arkham City is it doesn’t fall into the all too familiar problem of tedious repetition. Performing the same few moves over and over can quickly go from exhilarating fun to boring chore in a combat oriented game. Thankfully the combat here is influenced by your surroundings, find yourself up against a wall facing a mob of goons, and your counters will take this into account with Batman slamming faces into said wall until you move away from it.

Stealth quite rightly is also an important part of surviving in Arkham City. Even the Dark Knight isn’t invincible, so taking on tooled up goons head on will just lead to a quick demise. Vantage points are key and so is patience. Learning patrol patterns and picking your moment to strike before disappearing into the shadows will lead to goons freaking out and firing at shadows, which will lead to an intimidation experience bonus when you clear the area. If things do go a bit awry you can employ a new smoke bomb to cover your escape.

It’s not quite as easy this time around though, with goons later in the game sporting some hi-tech gear. For example they’re equipped with thermal imaging headsets which make you visible even if you’re hiding in the shadows, and have signal jammers which screw with your Detective Mode, meaning you have no access to the usual readouts on enemies in the vicinity.

Experience will allow you to level up where you can upgrade your Batsuit and gadgets, and learn new special combat techniques, amongst other things.

As for the Catwoman missions I mentioned earlier, they’re just as well executed. In fact they’re so good you’ll find yourself wishing there were more of them. Navigating Arkham City as Catwoman is a completely different experience as you utilize her whip and pounce from rooftop to rooftop or scale larger buildings in stages. Combat is different too. Catwoman is faster, but takes more of a beating if a goon connects. Her combat style is similar to Batman’s but the counters and stealth takedowns (dropping down off the ceiling for one) are more graceful and acrobatic in their approach and there’s a different set of gadgets to have fun with. I think Rocksteady may have gone a little overboard on sexing up Catwoman, I don’t think her catsuit needs to be zipped down quite that far to be sexy.

There’s plenty of other little details like Batman’s Batsuit taking damage as you progress, radio communications with both Alfred (with his trademark subtle dry humor) and Oracle. And listening to Penguin or Joker berate their goons as you take them out is highly amusing in a twisted way. “Batman’s never killed anyone but that doesn’t mean he won’t start with you,” quips The Joker.

Added to all that, there’s Riddler trophies to find, challenges to complete, and did I mention you get to punch a shark and can hitch a ride on a helicopter?

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Nov 2011 07

by ExAddict

The first four were tight. Real tight.

It’s a late night sometime during the ‘90s at any one of the millions of households, college dorms and computer labs across the planet…Productivity is at an absolute standstill because much caffeine, Doritos, freewill and time have been surrendered to what was simply put, the greatest game ever.

Fast forward to today and an entire generation of gamers await the next chapter in the series. But like the adventures of Duke Nukem before it, this one may end up stuck in the design stages for a vaporware eternity.

The game was SimCity. Or should I say SimFuckinCity. The ingenious city building and urban planning series created by software company Maxis and designer Will Wright. Sadly, since January 14th, 2003 – the release date of the last true SimCity title – the series has been dead in the water.

Sure there have been newer interpretations and incarnations of the Sim brand, especially since the 1997 acquisition of Maxis by the giant gaming conglomerate Electronic Arts. Despite SimCity’s incredible sales success and cult following, gamers have been crying for the next edition for close to nine years. Yes, believe it or not, it’s been almost nine years since SimCity 4.

So what happened? Mainly, a ton of platforms, iPad this. Nintendo 3DS that. While the original SimCity and it’s four true sequels (SimCity 2000, SimCity 3000 and Sim City 4) kicked serious ass on PC and Mac for fifteen years, the arrival of powerful handheld gaming systems, and later the iPhone and tablets have meant a new audience for an old standard. Afterall, as the piss-poor Duke Nukem Forever proved having tempted fans for 15 years, if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

Thus a legion of first-time gamers and business users going portable are spending countless hours creating and exploring exciting and worthwhile cities in an essentially unchanged gaming environment. Recent releases of SimCity have been based mostly on SimCity 3000, a.k.a. the crown jewel of the Maxis empire, released in 1999.

Something deep within the development teams of Electronic Arts must be clinging to the assumption that good code can always be recycled. While recent remixed versions and deluxe editions of the best of the series stand to bring a flood of fans to this legendary world-creator, we still don’t have what we want – SimCity 5.

Some might be asking, what about The Sims? Isn’t that a logical sequel to the brand? Nope, not even close. Even though The Sims, Spore, SimEarth, SimFarm, SimTown, Streets of SimCity, SimCopter, SimAnt, SimLife, SimIsle, SimTower, SimSafari, and SimPark all offer the Will Wright brand of world-building and exercises in environmental simulation, nothing beats the very first time your city comes alive, the moment you power up the transformer to bring electricity to your city. And many of us have hundreds, if not thousands, of hours of game time to prove it

Besides, although The Sims is in fact the highest selling video game of all time, the engineers and architects hidden inside all of us clamor for a return to world-building, not romantic plot-lines involving debates over purchasing a new couch and nonsense gibberish conversations with neighbors. For that, we have reality.

And then there’s the matter of Civilization.

First released in 1991, Civilization 1 through 5 have consistently offered a new and expanding universe for fans of extended (and time-consuming) adventures that revolve around the gamer playing the role of deity. The last Civ title was released in September 2010 and for some hardcore players, a new PC or Mac chapter of Civilization often means a complete upgrade in system hardware.

Will SimCity 5 ever see the light of day? Hard to tell. In 2007, EA released SimCity Societies, billed by some as the theoretical next sequel, but not a true SimCity 5. A review in two words: It sucked. Focusing far too much on being a bastard hybrid of both The Sims and a childish version of SimCity 4, SimCity Societies left a bad taste in many mouths.

Core to the reason why we may never see another worthwhile installment of this gaming classic, designer Maxis let the series design rights slip to Tilted Mill Entertainment, so they could concentrate on EA’s Spore, an underwhelming creature-builder also inspired by Will Wright.

If it ever is to see a real release, SimCity 5 may be born through the decision in 2008 by Maxis to release the SimCity source code under a free software license. If there’s one thing the free software community knows how to do, it’s fork the fuck out of original code.

If the fifth chapter in the book of SimCity is to be written, it might be authored by a fifty-six year old Senegalese crop worker or a banker riding the subway booting Ubuntu.

Maybe it’ll be worth the wait.

Other recent gaming notes…

* Will the Angry Birds movie threaten to score big box office or go down as yet another example in the long history of video game to big screen adaptations that have totally flopped? * Ever since my Xbox 360 surrendered to the red ring of death, I’ve been putting off investing any more money in Microsoft for this generation of gaming. But Battlefield 3 (from EA) just dropped and may change all that for me. I’m sick of waiting for a PS4. * WWE ’12 (from THQ) for PS3, Nintendo Wii and Xbox 360. Demolition and the Legion of Doom have been added as legends and I can see myself picking this up for the deepest Create-A-Character mode in the history of gaming. Throw in Brock Lesnar and the return of the F5 and my dollars are done.

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Nov 2011 02

by A.J. Focht

After a few weeks with no new updates, The Dark Knight Rises released several updates this last week. The first photos of Joseph Gordon-Levitt on set have spread across the internet. A full synopsis of the film has been leaked, but it doesn’t reveal much more than what we’ve already known. Finally, the movie’s second official trailer will release with Sherlock Holmes:Game of Shadows on Dec 16.

That’s not the end of the Batman news either. WB Interactive has announced Batman: Arkham City has shipped 4.6 million copies for PS3/Xbox360. Despite some tough competition, Arkham City is looking more and more like Game of the Year.

Iron Man 3 is taking a change in scenery. After shooting the past two films in California, the next installment in the franchise is filming in North Carolina. The change in location is likely the first in a wave of updates bound to come now that The Avengers has wrapped.

Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel will use the infamous villain General Zod, but unfortunately, the character is not likely to use the immortal line, “Kneel before Zod.” It’s sad to see such a famous line being excluded; it would be like not having The Terminator say, “I’ll be back.” Even Smallville used the line when they introduced General Zod.

Speaking of Smallville, it looks like the show isn’t as dead as we may have thought. A new IMDB has been created for a show titled, Metropolis. Currently, Tom Welling, Erica Durance, Aaron Ashmore, and Michael McKean are listed in the credits. Is it possible the show is getting a reboot/remake?

While we’re on the note of remakes, that’s apparently exactly what the new Evil Dead project is, minus Ash. A synopsis has been released for the film that sounds exactly like Evil Dead with different characters.

Five twenty-something friends become holed up in a remote cabin where they discover a Book Of The Dead and unwittingly summon up dormant demons living in the nearby woods, which possess the youngsters in succession until only one is left intact to fight for survival.

Evil Dead isn’t the only undead movie making a return, reports confirm that Michael Keaton is returning to his role in the Beetlejuice sequel. I’m not sure how I feel about a sequel, but it sounds like they’re at least trying to do it right.

One last thing, I present you the best video game based movie to date, and it’s based on Duck Hunt. This new ten minute short film is by far one of the best video game to film adaptations I’ve ever seen.

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Oct 2011 27

by A.J. Focht

Joss Whedon is no mere mortal in need of rest and relaxation. After wrapping up The Avengers, Whedon used his month long vacation to do a secret shooting of an adaptation of Shakespeare’s masterpiece Much Ado About Nothing

JOSS WHEDON: Well, it’s not a bit secret that I’ve done these [Shakespeare] readings before, and I always had a vague notion of shooting Much Ado. But I didn’t really have a take on it. And then, for some reason, I kinda sorta did. As we were finishing The Avengers in New York, my wife and I were planning our vacation for our 20th anniversary. And she said, “Let’s not take the vacation. Make a movie instead.” I was like, “I’m not even sure if I can adapt the script, cast the movie, and prep it in a month.” And she was like, “Well, that’s your vacation time, so you do it.” And so I did.

Source EW

Starring several members of the Whedonverse, the cast includes: Nathan Fillion, Alexis Denisof (Angel), and Fran Kranz (Dollhouse), amongst others. Shooting the film in only twelve days, the entire cast managed to keep the project secret until it was announced via a press release.

Whedon isn’t the only one moving past The Avengers in a hurry. Marvel has announced several superhero sequels for 2013. All the usual suspects are present: Iron Man 3, Thor 2, Captain America 2, and the long rumored Ant-Man is still on the list.

With three exceedingly mediocre movies based on The Punisher, it’s surprising to hear that he’s getting another chance, this time on TV. If anything could make this situation more shaky, Fox has purchased the rights to the series. Odds are it will either be fantastic and immediately get cancelled, or it’s going to be another agonizing hour of prime time that they’ll keep around for years to come.

Mark Hamill tweeted his goodbye to voice acting as the Joker after Arkham City was released. The goodbyes weren’t so final as he quickly reneged on his statement when asked about an adaption of the graphic novel The Killing Joke. After his confirmation he’d come back for such a project, a fan movement started to get the project in motion.

Zombies survive another year. After only two episodes this season, The Walking Dead has been renewed for a third season by AMC.

With so many other interesting TV series popping up, is it surprising to learn that Stephen King’s The Dark Tower has gone from film to television? Producer Brian Gazer reports that the series has been picked up by HBO. There is still the possibility of a movie, but they intend to ‘do it right.’

For those Star Wars fans not heart broken by the series being rereleased in 3D, the trailer for Episode I has made it online (though it was subsequently pulled from YouTube by Fox).

Moving onto more exciting sci-fi movies, Ender’s Game the movie has received an official release date of March 15, 2013. The film is still over a year out, but after a long rollercoaster ride of the project being off and on, it’s great to see a solid date.

First they released the sneakers from the Back to the Future movies, then they announced the rerelease of the DeLorean. As if in an attempt to make Back to the Future’s timeline absolutely correct, development of a real hoverboard is underway. The board currently needs a rail to guide it, but they have two years to fix that.

Pulling one straight from the Disney playbook, Warner Bros. will pull all Harry Potter DVD titles off the shelves on December 29, 2011; this includes the soon to be released Deathly Hallow Part 2. If you haven’t finished your collection, now is your chance. Who knows when Warner Bros. will release the films back into circulation? I’m betting no less than ten years.

Not the most shocking news, but Rockstar has officially announced Grand Theft Auto V. The preview will be released on November 2. I’m hoping they change things up a bit, perhaps a female protagonist?

On a final note, massive video game convention Blizzcon 2011 has come and passed. Several major announcements were made for World of Warcraft, including the introduction of the first neutral race, Pandaren. Most impressively, it looks like Blizzard plans on releasing three games next year, the expansions for World of Warcraft , Starcraft, and Diablo III.

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Oct 2011 25

by Bob Suicide

I don’t plan on ever growing up, though I do plan on single-handedly keeping the vinyl toy industry in business for many years to come. You name it, I’ve got it –– or it’s on preorder. However, even my embarrassingly childish addiction has standards. I have Legos, GI Joes, Transformers, Star Trek and Star Wars figures and replicas, plus Munnys and Dunnys of all sizes, but, I’m not –– and never really was –– a “Barbie girl.” I had a few as a kid, but even then I was more excited about my X-Men and Power Ranger figures than any doll.

However, I recently admitted a secret shame: “Typically, when I go to the toy store (which is often) to look for totally justifiable and not at all embarrassing toys, I make a small but shameful detour down the doll aisle.” And, recently, I even bought a few. Not Barbies, but Mattel’s similar line of dolls: Monster High.

Barbie has often been the target of body and self-image criticism. Thanks to her impossible anatomical proportions, moms across the globe decry the doll’s destruction of their child’s self-esteems –– but always after purchasing one or two because their daughters just had to have one. All the while, the overwhelming majority of girls rabidly desire and play with their dolls completely oblivious to the negative stigma their parents place upon them.

What I lack in “Barbie” fandom I make up for in love for Tokidoki designer Simone Legno, who recently released his own Tokidoki branded doll: the first officially tattooed Barbie. (There were two prior dolls that came with stickers mimicking temporary tattoos, but, since we’re getting technical, anything non-permanent doesn’t count.) With his amazing sense of art and style, Simone has done an amazing service to promote the acceptance of the beauty of tattoos within mainstream society. The doll is a perfect blend of the Tokidoki and Barbie brands. He’s mixed them together in a way that doesn’t compromise either. Part of me looks at that doll and says, “Fuck yeah. She looks cool.” Everything about the design is beautiful and “hip.” There’s an amazing attention to detail and the tattoos in particular portray Simone’s love of Japanese art that underlies all of his work.

There are few things in our American culture that are so identifiable as products of the “American Dream.” Coca Cola’s one and Barbie is another. They’ve been around for ages and while they maintain a classic aesthetic, they subtly evolve as the societal outlook changes. As tattoos are becoming more culturally accepted, it’s exciting to finally have a Barbie with tattoos. It’s exciting to think one of the largest toy manufacturers in the country, which boasts the country’s best selling doll –– a doll that has been defining standards of beauty for decades –– has now embraced tattoos. And, by dint of wearing those tattoos, Barbie and her parent company have declared tattoos to be both feminine and beautiful too.

As a kid, I never looked to my Barbie dolls for aspirational images of who or what I could be or how I should look and, honestly, I don’t think most kids do. Toys are toys. Toys don’t shape a kid’s personality. Children pick toys that reflect their own inner character traits. I didn’t look at my Wild C.A.T.s Zealot figure thinking I was going to become a covert warrior-spy. I liked that figure because I was already a strong girl with a penchant for the wilder side. As an adult however, I find the reverse bleeding into my conscious and I see why parents can easily label a doll as a “role-model.” So I’m pleased –– and even slightly inspired –– to see my formerly subversive love of lowbrow art and tattoos proudly emblazoned on one of America’s biggest icons.

But, another part of me can’t seem to get over the fact that, with the overabundance of pink and the perfectly bobbed hair, she’s eerily similar to Paris Hilton, which is not the best foot forward when it comes to portraying tattoos within the mainstream. If Barbie is an aspirational ambassador, the way parents like to portray her, I can understand the concern they might have for a day when “socialite” replaces “princess” as the number one thing little girls want to be when they grow up. But the same can be said of many of the Barbie dolls on the shelf. When each doll comes with matching purse and a mini dog that fits inside, when the “Dream Mansion” has its own massive walk in closet for shoes, it’s unfair to single this one doll out as the harbinger for the tacky, classless persona of a famous for being famous reality TV star. If this doll gets a scarlet “H,” they all do.

My ultimate gripe is with the “minivan mom’s” rallying cry that tattoos set a bad example for young girls. The gist of their complaint can be summed up by a comment from the Ms Twixt website for parents of Tween-age girls:

“Encouraging children that tattoos are cool is wrong, wrong, wrong.”

In reality, this doll isn’t meant to be a walking ad for the tattoo industry; It’s not even meant for children. It’s a $50 doll, and like the original plastic lady who inspired her, Bild Lilli, this Barbie is clearly marketed to the adult collector. While I can happily whip up a scenario whereby the fact that Barbie, as a shining example of the American Dream, has endorsed tattoos means that body art and modification is beautiful (as I just did), the truth of the matter is this is just a piece of lowbrow art which happens to take the form of a doll. While the doll is a highly publicized and identifiable one that’s typically marketed to children, the reality is two business saw the opportunity for a branding partnership and a hot pop-art designer modified an existing product for a high-end and limited run directed and solely marketed at collectors. No child is going to run their sticky fingers across a Tokidoki Barbie box on a WalMart shelf and the creators never intended that scenario to occur.

The doll aside, why is “encouraging” children to get tattoos wrong –– other than the fact those kids are going to be really bummed when they ride their trike up to the local shop to get their very own body mod and get turned away when they don’t have proper ID. There are laws set in place to ensure underage children can’t get tattoos. Doodling on skin with a sharpie never hurt anything but the occasional couch or really nice shirt (somthing I did ALL the time as a kid). Showing a child a picture of a doll or a person with a tattoo on them doesn’t immediately mean your toddler’s going to come home from preschool with a set of sleeves. Many of their real-life role models –– who are seen as wholesome and positive influences –– have them. Justin Bieber has a tattoo (don’t judge me for knowing that, I already feel enough shame!), and the only negative thing he’s ever inspired kids to get is really stupid haircuts (and his albums!).

Maybe the real answer is to let kids be kids, people be people, and dolls be dolls.

***

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