by SG’s Team Agony feat. Clio

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: My name is Giusuno Cornetto [real name redacted – continue on to understand why!] and if the name doesn’t say it then I’ll tell you; I’m a 100% bona-fide Italian from a large Italian family. I’m a 100% bona-fide Italian from a large Italian family. I don’t discriminate and I love all women, but if I could marry an Italian and have little Italian babies it would be awesome.

I’m sorry there’s no other way to say it, but it’s out of control even for a free spirit like myself. I loved my hippies, as in just a natural scent – sweaty, salty, with no desire to shave the kitty ¬ it turns me on. I don’t know what to do or how to break the news to her. I love putting my mouth on everything especially her pussy, and without being able to lick her off the relationship has little hope. When she gets wet I can smell her even more and the worse part about it is she doesn’t notice anything wrong which can only mean that she is used to it. What do I do?

A: Thanks for sharing this delicate dilemma. I hope your girlfriend/potential bambini-maker isn’t a member of SuicideGirls and doesn’t decide to Google your name because she’s not going to be a happy signorina when she reads this about her farfallina. But anyway, from what you wrote it sounds like either she just has a very strong natural scent, or she could have a vaginal infection that’s causing a funky odor.

If she has a vaginal infection she should see a medical specialist pronto! If that’s not the case I suggest trying to get her fragrant figa under control by adopting a more serious approach to feminine hygiene. There’s a lot of info about that online so I’m not going to bore you with details about how to keep your patatina clean.

However, you probably could use some advice on how to break the news to her that you’d rather eat a moldy cannoli than munch on her box. I would tell her delicately (do not use the word ‘rank’ unless you wanna get slapped) that her natural scent is a bit strong and that maybe she could wash before you engage in sexual activity. If you think that’s too direct, you can suggest taking a shower together before having sex and see if that makes going down on her more palatable.

In bocca al lupo!

Clio
xoxo

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Nicole Powers

“It’s a weird movie, which is good.”
– Rob Zombie

The Lords of Salem is one hell of a rockin’ horror flick. Written and directed by Rob Zombie – whose feature credits include House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects, and Halloween I and II – the masterfully textured and paced film puts a timeless new spin on the mythology surrounding the Salem witch trials. It stars Rob’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, who plays Heidi Hawthorne, a local radio station DJ. The spirits of Salem start to stir when Heidi gives airplay to a sheet of vinyl she receives in a mysterious wooden crate, which comes with a cryptic note that merely says it’s “a gift from the Lords.”

After spooking ourselves silly watching a preview, during which we literally jumped out of our seat and squealed on several occasions, we met up with Rob, who’d just returned from Austin where he’d screened the film during SXSW. We spoke in depth about The Lords of Salem and also got the skinny on his new album, Venomous Rat Regeneration Vendor, which comes out four days after the film’s April 19th theatrical release.

Read our interview with Rob Zombie on SuicideGirls.com.

A Message From Rob Zombie:

Win a walk on role in Rob Zombie’s next movie and a VIP Concert Experience package. Visit LordsOfSalem.com/win for full details.

by Blogbot

This Thursday March 28th on SuicideGirls Radio hosts Nicole Powers and Moxi Suicide will be joined in studio by two awesomely entertaining gentlemen that rock exceedingly hard – Billy Morrison and Jeff Hilliard.

You can listen – and watch – the world’s leading naked radio show live on Thursday nights from 6 til 8 PM at our new state-of-the-art all digital home: TradioV.com/LA.

You’ll also be able to listen to our podcasts via Stitcher – download the app now!

If you have questions for the SG Radio crew or our guests, you can call in during the live broadcast at: 1-855-TRV-inLA (1-855-878-4652)

For updates on all things SG Radio-related, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

About Billy Morrison

From playing guitar in the Los Angeles based all-star band Camp Freddy, through joining rock band The Cult on their 2001 reunion, to writing and recording with his own bands Stimulator (signed to Geffen Records in 1995), Doheny, Circus Diablo (signed to Koch Records, 2007), releasing his own solo material, and now currently playing guitar for Billy Idol, Billy Morrison makes music at all levels. With Camp Freddy, he has shared stages with some of the world’s greatest musicians from Ozzy Osbourne, Steven Tyler, Slash, and Robbie Williams to Lou Reed, Ronnie Wood, Jerry Cantrell and many, many more. Joining with Billy Idol and Steve Stevens solidified Morrison as a powerful and creative rhythm guitar player.

Billy is one of the founding members of celebrity supergroup Camp Freddy, along with Dave Navarro, Matt Sorum, Chris Chaney and Donovan Leitch. The band attracts guest performances from all areas of music and have appeared on many US television shows including Craig Kilborn, Jimmy Kimmel, Jay Leno, Sharon Osbourne and Carson Daly.

Billy Morrison also hosted Camp Freddy Radio, a regular Saturday evening radio show for five years on Indie 103.1FM in Los Angeles, along with his co-hosts, Dave Navarro and Matt Sorum. Nominated for best radio show by the LA Weekly, the show garnered much attention for its irreverent chat and non-formulaic playlists. He also hosted the award ceremony for his friend, Ozzy Osbourne at the Sunset Strip Music Festival.

Morrison has toured extensively around the world and continues to write, record and perform in many areas of the entertainment business. He played guitar on some of the tracks on Tommy Lee’s solo album “Tommyland – The Ride,” has co-written songs with a number of different artists (including Robbie Williams, Billy Duffy, Matt Sorum, Duff McKagan, Steve Stevens, Billy Idol, Corey Taylor, Glen Ballard and Jed Leiber), and also writes and records music for TV.

He began acting in 2007, and has numerous independent movies credits. He was featured as a guest star on the hit show, Californication, and plays a character called “Hollywood” in the movie K-11, which was written and directed by Jules Stewart.

Having completed a successful 2012 European tour with Billy Idol, and alongside performances with Camp Freddy at both the Democratic AND Republican National Conventions this year, Morrison is contributing to the writing of a new Billy Idol record (along with Idol and Steve Stevens) and plans more acting appearances and Camp Freddy performances in the near future. He will be on the road with Billy Idol in the United States this coming summer.

About Jeff Hilliard

As a satirical comedic innovator, Jeff Hilliard’s provocative point of view on the dark, twisted reality of modern-day society proves his creativity knows no bounds. His controversial music videos have garnered millions of views and recently been promoted by the likes of Charlie Sheen, Russell Brand and Tommy Lee.

With his unique blend of social commentary and songwriting, Hilliard collaborated with a number of musicians including The Dead Kennedy’s’ D.H. Peligro and Inger Lorre of The Nymphs and joined forces with Chevelle on making two music videos, one of which had its world premiere on MTV2. Hilliard’s music video for “Balls” featured Steve-o (Jackass) and another featured a miraculous “Cock That Heals!” He worked with Jeordie White a.k.a. Twiggy Ramirez (Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, A Perfect Circle) to develop his most recent release “Good Life,” which has been hailed by Billy Morrison as “the most outrageous, wrong, socially unacceptable music video I’d ever seen – and that is what makes it UTTER GENIUS!”

Beginning his career in the world of stand-up, Hilliard has shared the stage with comedic legends such as Rodney Dangerfield, Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock, as well as modern day masters like Dave Chappell, Zach Galifianakis, Mitch Hedburg and Louis CK. After programming a number of successful comedy shows in LA, Hilliard was asked to co-produce the world-famous Playboy Comedy Show in Las Vegas (named Best Comedy Show, Las Vegas Review), which featured numerous top comedians such as Patton Oswalt, Bobcat Goldthwait, Rob Riggle, Daniel Tosh and Andrew Dice Clay. Since then, he has gone on to produce various live and pre-recorded comedy projects, host on-line broadcasts, and currently hosts a radio show for the David Lynch Music Foundation.

With personal influences like Andy Kauffman, Bill Murray and Bill Hicks, Hilliard’s raw, witty approach to an often tired industry sheds a refreshing new light on comedy. Tightrope walking the road less traveled, this small town Kansas turned LA based comedian, director, producer and artist is knocking out one social issue at a time.

by Nahp

A column which highlights Suicide Girls and their fave groups.

[Aeta Suicide in Ready Steady Hoop]

This week Aeta tells us why she loves Hooping.

Members: 179 / Comments: 489

WHY DO YOU LOVE IT?: I love to hoop. That’s my way to relax and get in a good mood. As I’m dancing tribal fusion, I’m always trying to add something new to my dance. I don’t like to just use someone else’s ideas.

DISCUSSION TIP: I’d love to see more good tutorial links, performance links and of course music links. I know everything’s on Hoopcity, which is a great site, but I want it on the SG group too.

MOST HEATED DISCUSSION THREAD: At this moment “Hooping challenge–share pics and videos!” is the busiest thread.

BEST RANDOM QUOTE: “Months later, still always bruised. haha.” – Vivid Suicide, from an Ask a Hooper thread.

Love you Vivid! Somebody even said that hoopers have to love their bruises.

WHO’S WELCOME TO JOIN?: Anyone who is interested in hooping, dance, fitness, etc., or who just wants to check out pictures of hoopers and watch videos.

[..]

by Laurelin

Friendships are funny sometimes. I feel like there are so many different kinds of friendships; some strengthen and grow constructively while others fade and eventually cease to exist, even if no event in particular caused them to do so. There are a few different kinds of friends you find while immersed in the bar scene. Those you trust, and those you do not. You learn quickly that sometimes what you choose to tell someone in confidence isn’t in fact in confidence at all. If someone is always telling you secrets about other people, chances are, they are not keeping yours.

The lines and circles between bar scene friends and real friends are only slightly blurred in my world. I have a handful of people I call when I’m down and need to cry, a bigger handful of people I am comfortable talking about general life with, and an even bigger circle of people who I call every time I just want to have fun –– and even those people I know I could talk to about mostly anything. The circles blend, overlap, people often change positioning as friendships strengthen and others fall back. One thing is for sure: real friends tell the truth, even when it’s the last thing you want to hear.

I remember once in college my three best friends sat me down and told me they couldn’t listen to me talk about my ex boyfriend anymore. It had been over a year since we had broken up, I was actively participating in allowing him to cheat on his girlfriend who replaced me and I was in a constant state of upset over it.

“This is YOUR bad choice, you know where we stand,” they said. “We hate to see you getting hurt but when you’re not doing the right thing what do you think is going to happen? You can’t change if you don’t want to.”

That was a wake up call. Hard to hear, but they wanted what was best for me and I should want that too.

I’ve had similar talks with friends over the years, people who I have listened to for far too long dealing with things I knew should be different but weren’t because the person chose to be blind. As friends it is our duty to stand by and be a helping hand when someone is going through a hard time, and every so often we have to reach a little farther and help pull someone up out of hell. It’s exhausting, watching someone fall deeper and deeper into a situation; all you can do is be there for them and hope that the same will be done for you when it’s your turn to stumble.

Last night a friend (after a few drinks) dropped a bomb on me. While chattering about one of the few guys who are currently taking up some space in my mind, my guy friend set his hand on mind and told me to stop talking about it. “I can’t listen to this anymore,” he said. “It doesn’t make sense, it’s not going anywhere and you always do this, wrap your mind up in a fairy tale. This isn’t real, none of this is really happening the way you think it is,” he blurted out.

I froze, wanting to cry. Did I make a mistake, put my trust in talking about something with the wrong person? Has he always felt this way? I listen to him talk about his ex-girlfriend on a daily basis, sometimes wanting to shake him because the things he said or did were so insane, but I never did. I let him rest his head on my shoulder and I said things like, “I know what you’re going through,” because I remember what it’s like to hurt so badly. Now, in one jumbled up sentence every word of encouragement and support I had lent him died on my lips. I felt stupid.

“This isn’t real, none of this is happening the way you think it is…”

I managed a smile, sipped my beer and changed the subject. The night for me, was over.

[..]

by Blogbot

This Thursday’s show may be our dirtiest yet. SG Radio hosts Nicole Powers and Moxi Suicide will be discussing the filthy business of oil with investigative journalist Greg Palast and activist Ramsey Sprague, a spokesperson for the Tar Sands Blockade. We’ll be finding out why the Keystone XL pipeline is a really bad idea, even if cheap gas and more jobs are top of your priority list, and discovering how the Koch Bros will be benefiting from the construction of this environmental disaster of a project. We’ll also be crossing streams for this sleazy oil-based show with our friends from Red List Radio, and will be joined in-studio by RLR hosts Luke Harder and Corey Kozlowski.

You can listen – and watch – the world’s leading naked radio show live on Thursday nights from 6 til 8 PM at our new state-of-the-art all digital home: TradioV.com/LA.

You’ll also be able to listen to our podcasts via Stitcher – download the app now!

If you have questions for the SG Radio crew or our guests, you can call in during the live broadcast at: 1-855-TRV-inLA (1-855-878-4652)

For updates on all things SG Radio-related, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

[..]

by Nicole Powers

Artist / SG Member Name: Luis Tinoco a.k.a. Xtinocox

Mission Statement: To create things with style. Style is the answer to everything. Style is a difference, a way of doing, a way of being done.

Medium: Anything – oils, charcoal, mixed media, Photoshop, etc.

Aesthetic: To create something that is beautiful, that stimulates the senses and that evokes a feeling that is personal to the viewer.

Notable Achievements: Creating better work with each piece I finish.

Why We Should Care: Without art, life would be a mistake.

I Want Me Some: Visit grimhearts1985.com or society6.com/tinoco.

[..]