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May 2011 27

by Aaron Colter

I didn’t ask to be born. None of us did. But there are still some really good things in life. Think about it! Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens . . . and boobs. Anyway, it’s my birthday, so I think about these things, and dying. Out of all forms of entertainment, music makes me feel the most of alive. We should all go to a concert soon, together, and make-out. Until then, here are some songs that get the blood pumping.

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May 2011 26

by A.J. Focht

The weekend came and went with no signs of raptors or the rapture (except this). In fact, no apocalypse of any kind occurred, much to the disappointment of Harold Camping’s followers, and the delight and derision of most of the nerd population. That’s not to say that the CDC didn’t already have it – and you – covered, as they explained with the release of America’s official Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness 101 outline this last week. While there was no immediate need to put it to use, it’s very existence grants a bit of extra hope for the American citizen (except for those of us who can make out that massive gaping holes in the plan).

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May 2011 25

by Bob Suicide


[image: Buzzfeed]

The other day I came across a picture which had the caption: “OMG, I love macaroni so much. I’m such a nerd.” This irked me to the very core of my being. Your quaint quirks don’t make you a nerd. Going to see a comic-based movie doesn’t make you a nerd.

Jeff Foxworthy has his famous You Might Be A Redneck If… sketch, and with the rising mainstream popularity of geek culture, there comes a necessity to distinguish true nerds from recent converts, so I thought I’d come up with a similarly styled list of rules to help separate the fo’ realz from the wannabes.

Now, many other lists say that nerds must wear glasses (preferably with tape around the bridge), speak Klingon (binary, C++, or some other geeky language), and have all the social graces of an ostrich with its head in the sand, but these should not be the required defining hallmarks of a great, eclectic group of hardcore fans of all things geek: video games, science, science fiction, comics, etc.

We are more than the negative stereotypes that have often been levied against us. So without further ado, I present my homage to Foxworthy and true geekdom, You Might be a Nerd if…

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May 2011 20

by Aaron Colter

So, last week’s post sucked. You know it, I know it. Let’s move on. This week’s isn’t much better, but it’s still better. A simple list of some cool stuff you should check out.

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May 2011 19

by A.J. Focht

On May 13, the longest running superhero based television series, Smallville, came to a close. The final episode brought back many of the past characters, including Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor. Avoiding other major spoilers, we’ll just say there is both flight and tights action involved.

That wasn’t the only action stirring in the world of superheroes this past week though. Rob Williams, author of the new Ghost Rider series, announced that the next Ghost Rider will be a female. Johnny Blaze, the current Ghost Rider, will be offered a chance to pass his curse on to someone else, and while Blaze will no longer be the Rider, he’ll remain a part of the series.

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May 2011 18

by Bob Suicide

Hi, my name is Bob Suicide and I’m a shy gamer.

Generally, there isn’t a lot of stigma being a shy, quiet geek. After all, as a group, us nerds aren’t known for being boisterous. We play our games, download/stream our shows, and read our comics all from the safety of our solitary couches. However, with the recent surge in mainstream desire for geek culture, we’ve been thrust off of our couches and into the social scene.

You know you’re a hardcore gamer when you can watch someone else play a game with the same satisfaction you would received if you played it yourself. I’ve “played” many a game sitting next to the controller as the go-to strat guide girl or the rapt spectator rooting my friends on. Generally, my shy nature doesn’t preclude me from enjoying the ridiculous level of gaming that I expect from my daily life. But sometimes you just have to be the one pressing the buttons to get the full joy from the experience; sometimes, you can feel a little left out sitting on the sidelines…and it’s then that I lament my epic shyness.

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May 2011 11

by A.J. Focht

PlayStation fans around the globe continue to QQ over the extended absence of the PlayStation Network. While original reports stated the network would return this last week, they all proved to be filthy lies. Recent statements made by a spokesperson from the company suggest it might not return till the end month. Luckily for all the PlayStation fanboys and girls, this last week was packed with plenty of nerdy happenings to distract them from their enforced gaming sobriety.

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