by Bradley Suicide

I am generally the girl that thinks like a guy when it comes to matters of the heart. I try and turn off emotion and build up my walls as a matter of shear self preservation. I don’t think this is the healthiest of things, but it is what it is, and at least for now it seems to work for me. That is until I run into that one dude who pulls at my heart strings.

I have a thing for boys with rockstar mentalities, who live life in the limelight. I must be a glutton for punishment. These are the only boys who are able to get under my skin, and with whom I let my guard down. Sadly, these are also the boys who drag me through the mud.

The worst part is that I can see how things will end from the very beginning. And yet I jump in head first anyways. I think a small part of my normally jaded brain wants to still believe in the fairytale ending.

I have recently found myself falling head over heels for someone that I have been seeing for some time now. However, I didn’t know how deep I was into him emotionally until today. I guess I was in denial, telling myself that if I didn’t want to have feelings for him that they just wouldn’t formulate, a mind over matter sort of situation. Well that definitely didn’t work.

I told myself from the beginning that I needed to tread lightly and not have any expectations. I thought that I was doing great at this and that I was walking into the whole situation with a good mindset. I told myself that I was just there for fun and if it led to something else great, but I wasn’t going to count on it. Maybe I thought that if I told myself that enough I would be able to escape the fate that I knew in my heart of hearts was inevitable. I don’t think I could have been more wrong.

The worst part is that there really isn’t anything to be mad at him for, he is being a typical guy. Maybe this is all karma coming back around to bite me in the ass? After all, I am generally the one who, unintentionally mind you, will crush a dudes heart within a week’s time.

Want to hear the worst part of all of it? This just makes me want him more. How screwed up am I? I am knowingly walking into a situation where I am going to get the living shit beat out of my emotions. My head is saying to cut and run, my heart is saying to stick around, and my pride is telling me that I am not a quitter and that this has become a conquest.

So here I go, embarking on a game of cat and mouse that is going to end with me either getting what I want, getting caught and squished, or, what generally tends to happen with me, a mixture of all of the above. Wish me luck in my endeavor. I know that I sound like a crazy person who doesn’t have my head screwed on straight, and that is a pretty accurate assessment, after all I’m knowingly getting myself into this.

Someone get me a shot of Jack a let the games begin.

Until next time.

Bradley
xoxo

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by SG’s Team Agony feat. Sassie

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: So I’ll get right to it. I have known this girl for several years and we have a ton of the same friends. Randomly we started dating a couple months ago and I have noticed something I really don’t like — she CAN’T stop sharing every aspect of every date we go on.

Thanks for your time!

A: I feel that there are two sides to this. Some girls (and guys) talk very openly to their friends about their sexual relationships and other wise. I am one of these people, but I only have one or two very close friends that I share this information with. These close friends, are people I can trust and know won’t go around telling every person they see.

However, it sounds like things are getting back to you about your relationship from people other than your girlfriend that are mutual friends. I can understand how this could bother you, but you can’t really control what she does or doesn’t talk about with whom. And if she doesn’t really see any problem with the behavior, you can’t make her change how she feels. So you don’t see eye to eye on this one matter. What if you try asking her not to talk about that kind of stuff around you? Explain that you don’t care to hear the details of all of your friends’ relationships. And tell your friends that they have no business talking about your relationship either. If they are your real friends they will understand.

The second side of this is begs the question, why do you care so much? Ask yourself what about her sharing these types of things really bothers you. Are you embarrassed? Or maybe you just feel that any talk of your intimate sexual habits should just be between the two of you. Why? Do you not have a close guy friend that you share your stories with? If you’re having problems coming to a resolution, and can’t even openly discuss this with her, then you’re headed for problems.

I know it sounds corny, but communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. If she’s just sharing with certain people and you’re not the talk of the town, I wouldn’t worry about it so much. Things start to get complicated when it turns into gossip. If you’re already asking yourself “what if” we broke up, then you obviously aren’t happy with how things are going and perhaps need to make some changes. So either stop withdrawing and have an adult conversation about how you feel and what you need, or maybe consider that you guys were, and are, better off as just friends.

Thanks for the question!

<3 Sassie!

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Daniel Robert Epstein

“When I saw the glamorous photos of burlesque queens of the ’30’s and ’40’s, there is a confidence in their sexuality that they seem to radiate.”
– Liz Goldwyn

Pretty Things is a documentary about the burlesque stars of the 1940’s through 1960’s, such as Zorita, Betty Rowland, Sherry Britton, Dixie Evans and Lois de Fee. It’s a very serious but still entertaining look at the golden era of the art form. We got a chance to talk to the director of Pretty Things, Liz Goldwyn who worked on this film for over eight years, and also authored a book which shares the it’s name.

Read our exclusive interview with Liz Goldwyn on SuicideGirls.com.

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