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Aug 2012 22

by Lee Camp

Todd Akin told us the other day that not all rape is legitimate. Luckily VP candidate Paul Ryan seems to agree with him – at least enough to cosponsor a bill in which they carefully changed the wording from “rape” to “forcible rape.” Should these idiots keep trying to redefine rape? The entire nation is telling them no, yet they seem to think no means yes.

[..]

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Aug 2012 22

by Steven Whitney

We’ve all had the same frustrating experience – something goes wrong or breaks. We don’t have the skill set or time to address it, but fortunately a self-described “expert” rushes in, promising to save the day…and every single thing he or she does only deepens the problem, making it actually worse than if nothing at all had been done.

By every conceivable measure, the present – and 112th – Congress is the worst in our nation’s history. Worse in every aspect than the 80th Congress of 1947-1948, heretofore considered the worst by historians and Washingtonians, and so bad it was labeled the “Do-Nothing” Congress, first by President Harry Truman, and then by the public at large.

That 80th Congress passed just over 900 bills into law during its two year session – split about evenly, 454 in 1947 and 449 in 1948. For that dismal showing, more incumbents were defeated in the 1948 election than ever before in our history.

While I’m aware that statistics are not fun – except for baseball fans – fair-minded voters need to know the truth. Concerned citizens can’t just make things up (well, actually, they apparently can – Republicans have been doing it for decades, but then I wouldn’t describe them as “concerned”). So here are some facts.

By comparison, our broken 112th Congress passed just 81 bills in 2011. Of that total, ten – Public Laws 112-15, 112-22, 112-23, 112-38, 112-39, 112-47, 112-48, 112-49, 112-50, and 112-60 – merely named or renamed different Postal Service facilities, usually in honor of a fallen veteran, police officer, or firefighter. Three more – 112-12, 112-19, and 112-20 – “provided appointment” of three separate Citizen Regents to the Smithsonian. Another two bills – 112-2 and 112-31 – named one courthouse each in Arizona and Missouri. A couple of other flaky bills were done – 112-65 changed an eligibility standard for the Blue Star Mothers of America, and 112-66 made a “minor” wording change to the charter of the American Legion.

These are 20 of the 81 bills passed in 2011 – nearly 25% – leaving only 61 actual bills that could be judged the legitimate business of Congress. And those 61 bills represent only 13% of the number of laws passed by the infamous “Do-Nothing” Congress in its first year.

But the 112th wasn’t through. This year they’ve done even less while embarrassing themselves even more, with only 57 bills passed by the summer recess at the end of June. Of those, 19 bills approved, as in the previous year, the naming of post offices and courthouses. Another 2 approved “minor” word changes in previous bills. Leaving only 36 bills of any substance whatsoever passed into law so far this year – compared to 449 passed in 1948 by the “Do-Nothing” Congress.

In its second year, the 112th Congress has accomplished only 8% of what the previous “worst Congress in history” accomplished. So an immediate question arises: what does this Congress do when they aren’t certifying names for post offices and courthouses?

Democrats have proposed both large and small bills that would reduce income tax for Americans making less than $250,000 per year, provide quality health care for millions, give financial assistance to unemployed workers, mandate help for families with underwater mortgages, and scores of acts that would provide incentives to businesses to hire workers. All of these have been blocked by Republicans of the 112th using filibusters and/or clotures. Not just one or two or nine – they blocked all of them. Especially appalling was the day every single Republican Senator sided with a filibuster blocking the American Jobs Act from even coming to a vote on the floor.

But to show their hearts are in the right place, Republicans did introduce 467 bills investigating Democrats in various government offices – without finding even one instance of criminal malfeasance. They also proffered 36 anti-gay marriage bills, 46 bills to ban abortions and limit women’s health care options, 113 bills on religion (anti-Muslim and/or pro-Christian), 73 bills concerning family relationships, and 604 bills aimed at giving corporations and the upper 2% even more tax breaks at the expense of the poor and middle-class. And they teamed up with the National Rifle Association to present 72 bills making firearms more accessible to everyone, legislation that might not gain much traction in Aurora, Colorado and the Sikh community of Milwaukee. To top it all off, Republicans introduced 33 bills aimed at repealing the Affordable Care and Patient Protection Act, which they quickly dubbed Obamacare because they didn’t want folks to hear the phrases “affordable care” and “patient protection,” two aspects of the health care industry that have been sorely lacking the last decade.

Do the math. As Republicans wasted everyone’s time with bogus “social engineering” proposals, our 112th Congress passed only 97 bills of real legislation in two years – compared to 903 passed by the 80th Congress, slightly less than 11% of its most indolent predecessor.

So if the 80th was “Do-Nothing” and the worst Congress in history, what does that make the 112th?

At least the 80th Congress did not block everything the Democrats proposed – just the bigger issues. When it came to matters of running the government – like the 1947 debt ceiling – everyone on both sides of the aisle was on the same page. Back then, while Republicans were still fierce opponents of Democrats, they were not ready to sacrifice either the good of the American people or the machinery of government itself merely to gain the approval of the extreme right-wing of their party.

Meanwhile, the 112th is actively laying waste to our country just to toe the party line and win the next election – what’s good for their country does not even merit a moment of their thoughts. Their intentions are even worse than their abysmal record, confirming in every way possible that they are far worse than nothing.

This is not a wonky toaster we’re talking about, it’s our country – or what’s left of it. So who should we hold responsible?

Thomas Mann and Norman Ornstein are perhaps the two most respected chroniclers of all things Washington for the last 30 years. Because of his association with the Brookings Institute, Mann is viewed as center-left; Ornstein’s years with the American Enterprise Institute place him center right. Whenever the two men collaborated in the past, D.C. insiders listened carefully, and often made their “suggested” adjustments. But nobody on the right is listening to reason anymore.

Mann and Ornstein’s new book, It’s Even Worse Than It Looks, unequivocally states: “…we have no choice but to acknowledge that the core of (Washington’s) problem lies with the Republican Party.” Over the course of the book’s 200+ pages, the authors list many well-documented reasons why the title is justified: “the appalling spectacle of hostage taking” during last year’s budget crises, when Republicans put “political expedience above the national interest,” resulting in a downgrade of America’s credit rating; the abuse by Republicans of Senate filibusters and anonymous “holds” on nominations and legislation “merely to thwart majority rule;” the GOP resembling “an apocalyptic cult run by zealots and intellectual dead-enders;” Republicans telling lies on the floors of Congress “without censure,” and…the list goes on. At the end, Mann and Ornstein summarize today’s Republican Party as “ideologically extreme; scornful of compromise; unmoved by conventional understanding of facts, evidence, and science; and dismissive of its political opposition.”

The public apparently agrees. The approval rating for our esteemed 112th is hovering just around 10% – the worst ever recorded. 30 points lower than the IRS, 14 points lower than Nixon at the height of Watergate, and 6 points lower than BP at the high-water mark of their Gulf Oil Spill. And yet, if historical voting patterns hold true, 85 to 95% of these reprobates will get re-elected, simply because they are incumbents.

That says more about us than them. As much as we justly complain about the quality of our Congress, if we keep re-electing the Representatives and Senators who make governance impossible, doesn’t that make us the worst voters ever?

Even worse than nothing?

Related Posts:
Forget The Barbeque On Labor Day – It’s Time To Take Care Of Business
Chicken Shits: The Slippery Slopes of Chick-fil-A
The Vagina Solution
Fighting Back Part 4: The Big Liar, Intimidation And Revenge
Fighting Back Part 3: Fighting Fire With Fire
When The Past Is Prologue
Fighting Back Part 2: Defining Rovian Politics
Fighting Back
The Electoral Scam
Being Fair
Occupy Reality
Giving. . . And Taking Back
A Tale Of Two Grovers
A Last Pitch For Truth
America: Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.
Gotcha!

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Aug 2012 22

by Daniel Robert Epstein

“Instead of great plots and stories, it was funny characters that we liked…”
– Owen Wilson

I’’m not sure what to say about Owen Wilson. Ever since I first saw him in Bottle Rocket I have thought he was hilarious and brilliant. His movies with Ben Stiller like Zoolander and Meet the Parents are some of my favorite films of all time. It’s good to see him put aside that smarmy knowing persona that he has perfected in numerous movies over the past few years and play someone with the wide eyed innocence that Ned Plimpton has in Wes Anderson’’s The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou.

Read our interview with Owen Wilson on SuicideGirls.com.

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Aug 2012 22

Damsel Suicide in Lucy Ford

  • INTO: Musicians, artists, dirty talk, good baby makin’ music, post-sex cuddling, 5:00 o’ clock shadow, chicks with dreads, reading tarot cards, guys with strong arms, nipple rings.
  • NOT INTO: Butch chicks, spiky hair, cut off T-shirts, jocks, high maintenance Barbie doll bitches, preppy boys, dudes who chew tobacco.
  • MAKES ME HAPPY: Puggle snuggles, mooses, mustaches, Mary Jane, the Green Bay Packers, McDonald’s Diet Coke.
  • MAKE ME SAD: Abandonment, animal cruelty, people ripping off other people’s tattoos.
  • 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Penelope, my cell phone, sweatpants, marijuana, my camera.
  • VICES: Hostess cupcakes and dirty porn.
  • I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: With Penelope, and perving on hot naked bitches.

Get to know Damsel better over at SuicideGirls.com!


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Aug 2012 21

by Lee Camp

Apathy ain’t sexy, and it sure as hell shouldn’t get you laid. So I’m hoping women will flex their pussy power in order to save the world…or at least this upcoming election. I haven’t worked out all the kinks yet (I think SG has a group for that), but if my calculations are correct, ballots, vaginas, and democracy have a strong correlation.

[..]

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Aug 2012 21

by The Wine Guy


[Novella in Merlot]

There is a phenomenon in the wine world, which I refer to as the Moby Dick wine. It was that one wine you had at that one restaurant in 1997 that you’ve been chasing ever since. I am going to tell you right now, just stop it. Do you have any idea how many amazing wines there are out there? There is more great wine out there then you will ever get to try in your whole life. So instead of spending all your time and effort trying to find that wine, try something new! You want to buy a wine from your birth year to have in your showcase, that is fine. You want to buy the wine from your first date with your true love, well that is fine too. We all have favorite wines and wineries, but lets hope that we can add a new one tomorrow. Don’t lose sight of that the fact that if you had been chasing another wine on the night you had that one, you would’ve never had it in the first place! How did any of us find our favorite wines except trying a bunch of wines?

This brings me to the second key part of the Moby Dick phenomenon, the loyal dodo. When you are not being captain Ahab and demanding that your local wine shop carry the wine that you had ten years ago, you are arriving with a preset checklist. I want Mondavi, Mer Soleil, or Cakebread and that is it. This behavior is somehow condoned when buying wine but imagine it in another setting. You arrive at the Chinese restaurant and want sushi. You arrive at the sushi restaurant but will only eat white tuna. I am not telling you that you have to settle. Do not settle, drink better! The reason you like your pre-selected wines will be the same reason why you will like a substitute. You might like the new wine even more. Yes, we all hate to get burned by a bad wine. No one hates that more than me. But without risk there is less reward. Simply explain to the wine guy or girl what you like about the wines your normally buy and then let them suggest a replacement for you. The more trust you give them the bigger the pay off.

The third aspect of the Moby Dick chase is that when we set sail to find the great lost wine, we are willing to capture others, but we will not under any circumstances try a wine we have not heard of. Again there was a time when you had not heard of Rombauer chardonnay. There was a time when you did not know about Silver Oak. When you have heard of a wine, or for that mater when everyone has heard of a wine, it is either because it is famous, in which case it is overpriced, or because it is ubiquitous, in which case it’s a factory wine that should be avoided. Discover the unheard of winery, and enjoy a wine that has been priced based on its quality and not on its name. Impress your friends by introducing them to this exotic new wine. Worried about your wine snob friends? As long as you inspire a little confidence and exude excitement for you selection, rather than making excuses for it, your wine snob friend will likely be happy to try something new. Everyone wins when you approach wine with a more adventurous attitude.

Wine is a living thing. Wineries are functioning places. Winemakers are human beings. Wineries get bought, winemakers change houses, and wines change in the bottle. There is no reason to be absolute about any of these three. The winemaker leaves your favorite winery and the new winemaker changes the style on you. The winery sells to a bigger company and they start mass-producing the wines you once loved and the quality falls dramatically. The new vintage of your old favorite needs an extra year or so to open up and become the wine you like. These things will happen. That is a fact. So stop chasing that wine, stop pledging undying allegiance to a winery, and stop drinking the same stuff over and over again.

***

The Wine Guy sells wine for a living, and lives to drink it. It’s his first and foremost passion. He avoids factory wines, loves to seek out bottles that are interesting and unique, and gets excited when he finds a grape he’s have never heard of.

Related Posts
The Wine Guy: Real Men Drink Rose
Drink Better: One Man’s Plea To Raise The Bar On Booze For Every Occasion

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Aug 2012 21

by Blogbot

Every week we ask the ladies and gentlemen of the web to show us their finest ink in celebration of #TattooTuesday.

Our favorite submission from Twitter wins a free 3 month membership to SuicideGirls.com.

This week’s #TattooTuesday winner is the cosmic @kittyKA0S.

Enter this week’s competition by replying to this tweet with a pic of your fav tattoo and the #tattootuesday hashtag.

Good luck!

A few things to remember:

  • You have to be 18 to qualify.
  • The tattoo has to be yours…that means permanently etched on your body.
  • On Twitter we search for your entries by looking up the hashtag #TattooTuesday, so make sure you include it in your tweet!

Check out the Tattoo Tuesday winners of weeks past!