by SG’s Team Agony feat. Friskey and Tita

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: I wrecked my motorcycle almost 6 years ago, and it has left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. I haven’t had a relationship since. I have always been a bit shy, but now I feel self-conscious about my “situation”. I feel like people look at me as though I am helpless. And its hard to find a girl who would rather ask me for my phone number than ask me if they can hold open a door for me. Most people see a person in a chair and their first thought usually isn’t “Oooh, I want some of that!” I’m pretty likable guy…once you get past the fact that I’m in a chair. How would you suggest that I go about getting women to want to date me? In all honesty, what would it take for you to date a person who was paralyzed?

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by SnakePlissken

Every day I’m surrounded by goddamn vegetables. You see, I’m in charge of quality control at a major West Coast vegetable processing plant. Sort of like my own personal hell really. Why, just yesterday I was overseeing the processing of around forty ton an hour of Oregon’s best field-fresh green beans for eight hours plus. That’s a fuck-ton (an arseload in metric for all you Euro folk) surrounding me every moment of the day; dripping their juices on me from weird white whirling belts, stinking up the place with goodness, and generally just being too goddamn healthy. Surrounding me also, is a sea of tiny immigrant laborers like underpaid Oompa-Loompas with no health plan making this bizzaro Willy Wonka- world factory hum and whistle. They are also heavily involved with the weird white whirling belts, but for the most part none have dripped their juices on me.

By the end of an eight-hour shift I need something shitty after being surrounded by a vegan’s wet dream for such an unbearable amount of time. Not only must it be shitty, but it must be greasy and hopefully processed beyond reproach and recognition. Luckily the strange smelling ultra-cheap grocery store was open at midnight and I found these little beauties tucked in between the frozen cow knuckles and the recently expired Banquet Salisbury Steaks.

I love things that taste like other things. Such as, oh, mayo that tastes like bacon. Or when something purple actually tastes like grape. In this case, these evil little nuggets are obviously Totino’s Pizza Rolls that taste like tacos. As a precaution I opted to consume the Imodium A-D before I even opened the bag.

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By Alex Dueben

Alan Robert is best known as a musician and singer/songwriter of the bands Life of Agony and Spoiler NYC, but he was first and foremost a comic guy. A graduate of the School of Visual Arts in New York City where he studied cartooning under Walt Simonson and others, the rock star is now in the midst of his second career as a comics artist and writer. At a time when celebrities will put their names on a comic but let others do all the work, Robert is creating comics that are written, drawn, colored and even lettered by him and include back page material taking readers through his process and workspace and have some fun along the way.

After the success of last year’s miniseries Wire Hangers, IDW is releasing a new miniseries from Robert starting this month. Crawl To Me is a strange dark tale that was created in just a matter of months and shows growth and experimentation over his work published just a year ago. Talking with the budding horror icon is a real inspiration and it’s clear that Robert is having the time of his life.

Read our exclusive interview with Alan Robert on SuicideGirls.com.

Vesta Suicide in Sigh No More

• INTO: Bad fake accents, lingerie, cheap shows, movies, and small towns.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Hot popcorn, stir-fry, cupcakes, pancakes, and food!
• MAKES ME SAD: Roadkill, clapping in movie theatres, Uggs and Crocs.
• HOBBIES: Playing guitar, painting, photography, cupcake creating, and Maple Leafs hockey.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: Days filled with sunshine, ear kisses, lubriderm rubs, romance, and birth control.
• VICES: Popcorn, things that sparkle, and anything I can stick into my face.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: On SG.

Get to know Vesta better over at SuicideGirls.com!

by Lily Suicide

On May 5, 1993, three young boys, Chris Byers, Michael Moore and Stevie Branch, were brutally murdered in the town of West Memphis, Arkansas. Grieving and looking for answers, the town allegedly bypassed evidence pointing at probable suspects. Instead, they prosecuted three teenage boys who were unconventional for the town of West Memphis. The boys, Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Miskelly, wore black and listened to heavy metal music. They would later come to be known as the West Memphis Three.

There was what many critics call a coerced confession from Jessie Misskelly, who had a below average IQ. Jessie Miskelly recanted his statement the next day, stating that he had been put under extreme pressure and psychological warfare by the West Memphis police, but by then it was too late and the fate of three young men rested uneasily in the hands of the judicial system. They were convicted of murder in early ’’94. Jessie Miskelly got life plus 40, Jason Baldwin received life without parole and Damien Echols – at only 18 years of age – was sentenced to death by lethal injection.

Luckily, there were cameras in the courtroom, and they were used for the making of the HBO documentary Paradise Lost. Burk Sauls first saw Paradise Lost in August of ’96. He watched it and watched it again. At the end he was always left with the same feeling that many other people were left with: “with a lot of empty spaces, unanswered questions and doubts.” Many people became angry after watching Paradise Lost. Burk Sauls, Kathy Bakken, and Grove Pashley decided to do something about it. They launched the WM3.org website and the West Memphis Three support group, as well as eventually appearing in the sequel to the first HBO documentary, Paradise Lost 2.

I caught up with Burk to talk about the case, as well as Damien Echols’ memoir Almost Home, written on death row.

Read our exclusive interview with Burk Sauls Of The West Memphis Three Support Group on SuicideGirls.com.

by Flux

This week on the SG Twitter feed, we asked our followers one of the most essential, most crucial, most contentious questions on Earth: kittens versus puppies…who wins? Many would say that the answer to this question defines a person: kitten lovers would say that their choice implies independence, quirkiness, and a certain level of internet savviness (think Nyan and LOLcats), while puppy fans would point to their nobility, loyalty, and high snuggle-factor. It was quite a battle, with points moving fast in either direction over the first 30 minutes we were monitoring the stand-off. Puppies started out in the lead, then kittens inched ahead. In the end, it was close: 33 to 31 in favor of puppies.

In honor of the victors, we put together a small, free, safe-for-work gallery of some of our favorite photos of SuicideGirls with puppies. Check out SG Puppy Love here.

As for the kitten lovers, better luck next time. Maybe if you had stepped up, we would have posted some really nice pussies.

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World…

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.

(Catch up with the previous installments of Killswitch – see parts ONE and TWO – then continue reading after the jump…)

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