by SG’s Team Agony feat. Smythe

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q: My boyfriend is great! We have an adventurous sex life. We’re open and young and love each other very much. We have a 3-month old son, but that hasn’t changed our sex life much. Recently though, my boyfriend’s been avoiding sex. It doesn’t matter if I play hard to get or if I’m throwing myself at him or anything in between, he’s just not into it. Why could this be?

A: There have been A LOT of changes in you and your boyfriend’s life. You were pregnant, and had a kid. Whoa. Huge deal. Is it possibly stress related? There’s a big shift in responsibility, both personal and financial. He could be freaking out a little.

You mentioned that you have an adventurous sex life with your boyfriend. Great! But, do you both feel that way? What might make things amazing for you in the sack, might not be what lights his fire.

The thing is, it could be almost anything under the sun causing him to have an aversion to sex. But no matter what you think it might be that is causing a lack of umph in bedroom, you’re never going to know until you talk to him. Sit him down and have an open and honest conversation, without judgment.

Smythe

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Laurelin

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I’ve been in a serious rut lately. I don’t know if it has to do with my approaching 30th birthday, my increased responsibility at work, my lack of any romantic interest in anyone besides an ex that I just want out of my head, or a lethal combination of all of these things. Either way, I haven’t been very happy lately, and I really don’t feel like myself. I feel…lost. Sad. Alone. Rejected. Like I’m standing in a crowded room screaming — and no one can hear me, or the ones who can just don’t care.

I know it is nothing more than a temporary hiccup in an otherwise smooth existence, so I have been dealing with this the best way I know how: drinking, reading, working out, whatever. I’m choosing one night a week to do something really fun and taking it to the next level in a vain attempt to forget that for one second, when I go home, I will probably just start to cry about the same thing over and over again.

The one constant in my recent fall from my ever-perfect life is my ex-boyfriend from a few years ago. He was the person who inspired me to start writing this column; first in anger, then as time went on in friendship and in unwavering support. He moved to Los Angeles about five months ago. His leaving made me feel like a part of my life was seriously over. I felt conflicted; devastated and happy at the same time. This city eats bartenders alive, and he was ready for a change. We always said we would go together, and when we broke up I was the one dead set on leaving… but I wound up staying, and months later, he left, and I cried.

He knows me better than most of my girlfriends, and when I call him drunk and crying about another guy at 4 AM, he always answers and he always knows just what to say. Just hearing his voice on the other end of the line is like being thrown a rope, something to keep me hanging on for just a little bit longer.

“You were crying about birthday cake,” he said the other morning, “it was cute, and sad.” Birthday cake, the one that I had custom made for a guy who never showed up for his party I helped plan in Boston, and who shut off his phone when I called to ask what was going on. Instead, I carted the cake home to my apartment and my roommates and we tore it apart; ate half of it and threw the rest in the trash. And I got drunk and I cried, because I was an idiot to care about someone who never cared for me, again.

And then, a few weeks ago, my ex called from LA to say he was coming home. He had had enough of California, and for once, I didn’t cry. He was coming home and finally, maybe, things could get back to normal. He’s been back for two days, and when I woke up this morning I was tangled up in him and for once, I didn’t feel lost.

I woke up, I took his clothes and I washed them with mine. I pulled his old dusty Tupperware container out of the closet and got him new socks and underwear and one of his T-shirts. I made coffee while he slept, and when he woke up he rubbed my back because I had run twelve miles in the rain the day before and I was cold and sore, and we were happy.

We might not be together anymore, and I don’t want to be, to be honest. We’re clearly both lost, but we take care of each other, for now. Sometimes, when you’re in a rut it’s nice to have someone throw you a rope. Other times it’s nice to have someone climb down and sit there with you until you’re ready to muster the strength to get out on your own.

[..]

by Bradley Suicide

The coast is clear, the view is distorted.

I have found myself newly single and have thus been thrown head first into the sad and sorry existence that is the dating scene. I am the first to admit that I have no patience for this type ordeal (and yes, it is an ordeal at times). I am probably every dude’s nightmare when it comes to being approachable, and then on top of that, it takes a very certain person to hold my attention for more than a minute or two. That certain type of person, unfortunately, is generally what our society refers to as a “douche bag.’ Yes, I have a firm belief that my “picker” if you will, is pretty much busted.

Through the trials and tribulations that I have been through since my single life has started up again, I have learned a few things. Coping with being alone is no easy task, and coming out of the security a three year relationship makes singledom all the more of a shock. It can also, at times, be an absolute blast, but easy and fun are not necessarily synonymous.

When I first became the newly single me, I felt pretty lost and found myself starting to see someone right off the bat. Not seriously, but in my naïve little heart I thought that it could lead to something long term. I was definitely mistaken. He was one of those guys that we have all had a run in with on some level. Extremely charismatic, good looking, acted like he wanted to give me everything that I wanted, blah, blah, blah. In the end we went out a few times, hooked up for a while, and then, well, let’s just say my rose-tinted spectacles fell off with a thud. I was not heartbroken by any means (ego bruised yes, heartbroken, no), but I did get hit with a major dose of reality. This gentleman and I ultimately became very close friends. We still have our fun from time to time, but it’s on my terms now and all of the cards are on the table.

When I look at my single escapades, and yes, there have been many of over the past few months, I just shake my head at my own antics and vow that I will learn and grow from them. This, of course, has yet to happen. Can you really blame me? You take a girl like me and throw me into the singles scene, and shit is going to go down. Especially with my affinity for tattooed boys with an “I don’t give a fuck attitude.”

I am not interested in settling down, at least not with anyone who is emotionally available and I don’t like to sleep alone. This is a dangerous combination. So what is a girl to do? Thus far I have been enjoying the ride. Never turning down a drink and breaking hearts along the way. It’s go time in Bradleyville. We will see where this all takes me.

I have no clue what the next few months will bring. Hell, I don’t know what the next few minutes will. But I do know one thing, I am having fun. Please stay tuned for further developments. I am sure that things are going to get interesting.

Until next time.

Bradley
xoxo

by Blogbot

Our friends over at Slake marked the publication of the fourth Dirt-themed issue of their Los Angeles-centric literary book/magazine hybrid with an evening of dance, music, art, free beer, and pie – served by “Pie Girls” Moxi and Vivid Suicide. The event was held on Friday May 4 at Atwater Crossing, a multi-purpose eat, drink, performance, gallery, and work space in Hipsterville, LA.

Slake founders Joe Donnelly and Laurie Ochoa were joined by former Guided By Voices member James Greer (who hosted a station where attendees could make original album art for his new Detective project), and many of the local writers and artists who had contributed to the new issue. SG’s Red, White & Femme post-feminist sex & sensuality columnist Darrah de jour was also in attendance, as was OG LA occupier Gia Trimble (who was a guest on SG Radio’s OccupyLA-themed show this past Sunday) and photographer Ted Soqui (who took the iconic “Protester” image which was used by Time Magazine for the cover of their “Person of The Year” issue).

With two Suicide Girls girls on hand to celebrate the release of Slake’s Dirt, things naturally got a little naughty (see NSFW pic). The evening came to a climax with one lucky lady getting cream pie in her face – though we’re not exactly sure why 😉

*UPDATE*

If you’d like to get down and Dirt-y with the folks from Slake, they’re having another soirée later this week at the rather civilized Stories Books & Cafe in Echo Park (which boasts a great book selection and to-die-for Mac & Cheese!). In keeping with the new issue theme, the event will feature scribes Jack Lander, Antonia Crane, Lucy Engelman, Dave White, Christopher Byars, and Vanessa Carlisle reading sordid stories in the store’s back patio – the night promising to be as debauched as it is divine.

Where: Stories Books & Cafe, 1716 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90026.
When: Thursday, May 10 at 7:30 PM
Info: slake.la/events/slake-stories-books

Related Posts:
Slake Explores The Concept of Dirt And Larry Fondation Tells Us About His Dirty Girl

by Blogbot

We last had the folks from OccupyLA in the SG Radio studio on October 6th, 2011. Since then, a lot has happened for them – and the Occupy movement as a whole.

Back then, OccupyLA’s occupation of the grounds outside City Hall was barely a week old, and no one had much idea of what the future might hold. Certainly few outsiders would have predicted they’d be alive and kicking seven months on.

Though they lost their permanent encampment in early December, 2011, after a brutal police raid, you can’t evict an idea – and OccupyLA had a big one – to mark International Workers’ Day with a massive day of action.

The resolution, which was first tabled by members of OccupyLA in a General Assembly (GA) held in November 2011, was taken up by other occupations nationwide, and on May 1st thousands of people in well over 100 cities participated in the May Day General Strike.

In Los Angels, the day was marked with marches from the 4 Winds in the North, South, East, and West corners of the sprawling metropolis, which converged with other immigrant/workers rights protests in Downtown LA. A special OccupyLA May Day GA was then held in the evening in Pershing Square, where it all began.

By sundown, Pershing Square was packed, with many new and perspective occupiers experiencing a GA for the first time. The overwhelming sense of camaraderie emitted by the large crowd was palpable, as strangers were quickly united by a common goal and the process of radical and truly representative democracy.

The momentum of the movement (that most in the mainstream seriously underestimate) continues as the focus shifts to Chicago, with large gatherings and protests planned in honor of the People’s Summit, NATO, and the (hastily relocated) G8.

On Sunday, as OccupyLA encamps in the SuicideGirls Radio studio, we’ll be reflecting on May Day, celebrating the many triumphs of the movement, and talking about its future hopes, dreams, and grounded, pragmatic and attainable goals.

For more on OccupyLA visit their website, Facebook and Twitter.

We’ll also be hearing from our good friend George from Occupy affinity group 99% Solidarity. He’ll be calling in from NYC to give us the skinny on the FREE Chicago bus trips the group is organizing to coincide with the various planned protests there later this month. For more details visit: 99solidarity.com/chicago/

Tune in to SuicideGirls Radio live on Sunday May 6 from 10 PM til Midnight PST at: suicidegirlsradio.indie1031.com/
(hit the top right “listen Live” button)

For updates on all things SG Radio-related, “like” us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

[..]

by Laurelin

It’s been a long time since I’ve done this. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday, a once sharp pain now only a memory that makes me cringe only because of the way I almost remember feeling. It’s faded now, the sharp feeling of loss from so long ago to be replaced with this new experience, one that’s a bit more bittersweet and almost entirely silly.

I remember the first time. I was standing at the Ocean Mist in Rhode Island at an all ages rock show. The bar was perfect; on stilts that went into the ocean so when you looked away from the crowded stage and sticker covered walls you could see only the blue of the ocean. The windows were open in the summer and you could taste the salt on your tongue while you breathed in the bass from the speakers. As a teenager, it was heaven.

I had had a crush on this guy forever, and I had decided that while we were all out that night I was finally going to tell him how I felt. The music faded to a dull pounding in my brain as I walked over to him, and my stomach flipped somersaults. I somehow managed to spit it out, not remembering exactly what I said but distinctly remembering his face, his blank expression that told me that I was wrong, he would never like me back, and I turned and ran. Later a friend told me that he was embarrassed, that I was too tall, disproportionate. I wanted to die.

All these years later, finally comfortable with who I am, how tall I am, my life and my choices. All these years later still struggling with the truth and just finally giving up and telling someone I still have feelings for them even though I know nothing good will come of it. I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know why I felt the need to tell him, it’s not like I couldn’t sleep or live without finally getting this off my chest. I know it was stupid and it does nothing but makes things awkward. (All these years later that still hasn’t changed.)

I don’t feel better. I don’t know if I feel worse. I don’t think things can be the same, but they shouldn’t have to be different. I imagine that in the grand scheme of my life, this is going to be something I look back on and laugh at. A psychic once held my hand and said, “You have already been so lucky, you’ve had two great loves and two great heartbreaks. This thing you hold, this is neither. So why can’t you move on?”

It’s something that now, I can remedy with calling other ex-boyfriends and drinking with girlfriends, where as back then I cried myself to sleep for days. This time, only a train ride home with a bit of smudged mascara, a woeful realization that I’m not as tough as I make myself out to be. I feel bad for myself. I feel bad for making him struggle to find the right words to not hurt my feelings. I feel bad for the past three guys I’ve dated, because I have kicked them all to the curb with a handful of lies and half truths once we hit the one month period. Better off alone until I figure this out, don’t like to be alone so I start things I can’t finish.

“It’s okay, because you know this is silly,” my roommate says as I’m trying not to let anyone at the bar see me cry. “I know,” I mumble, and I DO know. I don’t even notice the guy walking up behind me and ordering shots. “Two please,” he says and passes one to me with a kind smile. My eyes dry almost instantly, and I know how stupid I must look. We cheers and the shot goes down like fire, but I seem to have found my coy smile, and this guy is kind of cute.

“Rough night?” he asks.

“It’s nothing,” I say smoothly, and the lie spreads like butter on warm toast, so well that I almost believe it. Almost.

[..]

by Nahp Suicide

Shazzy is from Montreal. She currently splits her time between Montreal, Toronto and Tokyo. She has been an SG photographer since 2005 and has shot more than 200 sets.

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

I had a couple friends (Tao and Raquel) who were interested in modeling for the site. This was February 2005. It was a total coincidence that I ended up shooting their sets a day apart. SG was just starting to blow up in Montreal back then.



What’s your background photography-wise?

I have a degree in photography from Dawson College. I graduated just in time – the following year they destroyed the darkrooms and switched 100% to digital photography.



What was the first photo you had published?

I think it was a shot of Ritchie Hawtin in the Montreal Mirror. 



How would you describe your style?

Minimal. DIY.

What gear do you use?

Canon 5D Mark II

How important is Photoshop in your final images?

It used to be really important but in the last few years I’ve really toned it back. These days I usually clear up some blemishes and that’s it. Less is more.



What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

LOLCATS.



What is your favorite image?

This one (NSFW) of Silvia from Stay On The Line.

Tell us why it’s your fave and how you achieved it?

I’m a huge fan of natural light and I like how the silhouette really accentuates her curves. I achieved it by underexposing a couple stops.



Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven’t?

A sunset in Nebraska. Or Mick Jagger! He’s fuckin ballin.

[..]