by Laurelin

The old woman cupped my hand in hers. Narrowing her eyes and making a clicking noise in the back of her throat she looked up and smiled warmly. “You are untrusting in love,” she said. “Why? What is there to worry about, you have had two great heartbreaks in your life and they are over, it’s time to put the past behind you. I look in your eyes and see such warmth, too bad you cannot speak with your eyes.” She lets my hand go and it falls into my lap. I guess that lady gets paid to say those things, but at 2 AM in New York City it suddenly seems so real, and I walk back through Times Square to my hotel wondering about what she said. Was she right? Was I totally untrusting?

I went on a date the other night with a bartender from a trendy bar downtown. He wasn’t anything like me, and while once that would have really frightened me, now it seems really appealing, challenging, intriguing. I had a great time, and at the end of the night back home at my apartment I found myself smiling stupidly, wishing my roommate was home so I could talk her ear off about it. I never heard from that guy again, and it was a bit unsettling for a few days. What did I do wrong? This was so typical.

After a few days of not hearing back I moved on; not everyone gets an explanation as to why something doesn’t work out. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself a little bit — here I was wondering why everything seemed to click when it didn’t really. Who does that? “You do that,” my roommate points out. “You do that all the time. Have a great time and then freak out and run away and never tell the guy why. That’s like, your favorite thing to do!” I think about it and I can’t help but laugh, at myself, at the poor guys I have dated in the past five months, and at the whole situation in general. She’s right, I have an inability to tell the truth when it comes to wanting to end something before it really starts; I just slither back to my bar scene life and immerse myself in work. One can always trust the reliability of a 45 hour work week. Does that make me untrusting? Easily bored? Non committal?

I have always considered trust in relationships to be something that is created over time once you find someone who doesn’t drive you nuts. All of a sudden I realize that I’m looking at the cell phone you left on my nightstand when you were rushing to work and I roll over and go back to bed – instead of flipping through your texts. I’m left alone in your apartment and your computer is right there with your e-mail up on the screen, and I sign out and into mine without even a second glance. You want to go out with your friends to the strip club with an eight ball of cocaine in your pocket? Sure, have a good time. I trust you. See? I can be trusting.

That old lady was wrong. I have trust in a lot of things. I trust that my friends will get me through anything. I trust that I’m a good judge of character, and that even if something doesn’t work out that I chose that person or that path because I saw something good in it, because I thought that it would make me a better person. I trust that I will not always do the right thing but that I will know the difference between the two, and that I will do better next time, be stronger and able to learn from my mistakes. I might be untrusting in love, but that is only because a lot of times the way it’s ended up for me has left me feeling like I trusted something that wasn’t real, or that was only real for a little while and that is devastating. I was never mislead, nor was I ever misleading to anyone I ever called mine. If I mislead you, you were never mine, nor I yours.

Untrusting in love seems normal to me to an extent; it’s good to be cautious with your heart after you have spent so long learning to trust yourself. I’ll open up when the time is right. For now, the only trust I need is from the bartender shaking my martini or muddling my mojito. It’s almost summer time, and I smell some really poor life choices on the horizon. If there’s one thing I can trust in, it’s that.

[..]

by Blogbot

Artist / SG Member Name: Oddbill.

Mission Statement: Someone once said to me “Please never stop drawing naked ladies.” And so far, I haven’t.

Medium: Chalk pastels, ink, and watercolor.

Aesthetic: Oversaturated crumbly false color. Otherwise, I don’t think I’ve developed an aesthetic yet. I keep at it in the hope an aesthetic emerges.

Notable Achievements: I designed a vodka bottle once. It was like a cubist rendering of an embrace warped into three dimensions and filled with sexy fermented potato juice. It would have been lovely, but the company that hired me went bankrupt and it was never made. I recently did a CD cover. Some of my pieces once hung in a group show. Art-wise, that is about it. I manage technology workers for a living. A long time ago I was an actor. I make these drawings now, when I’m not working, because I Iike the way the chalk feels, the clouds of loose technicolor dust I have to blow off the paper, talking to the women who sit for me, translating them into completely nonsensical colors.

Why We Should Care: What I hope is that there is something engaging about these pictures, that they catch your eye the way they did mine as I drew them. It’s really no more complicated than that. Most of what I do is an attempt to grab people with colors and say “isn’t this lovely?” There’s no statement or deeper meaning. I kind of don’t think there needs to be. People don’t walk away from drawings philosophically engaged, they don’t remember a clever argument they had to read a card to understand. But just the image, light and texture, that lingers in memory, that’s what this is for.

I Want Me Some: I don’t have an online store, or any prints or other items at the moment. The drawings are all for sale though. I can be contacted through my website, twitter, or inside SG. Feel free to follow, sling comments or inquiries at me through any of those channels. Thanks!

[..]

by Nahp Suicide

Waikiki is from Italy and spends her time shooting between Italy, Holland, London, and Berlin. She has been a SuicideGirl since 2006 and a photographer since 2009.

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

A close gay friend of mine introduced me to SG for the first time. It was the summer of 2005.
 A month later I shot my first set as a model with Albertine. Three years later I did my first one as a photographer.



What’s your background photography-wise?

I have a BA in Fine Arts. I did photography, video, and sculpture. Back then I mainly shot in analog. The dark room was my favorite place in the whole University. 


What was the first photo you had published?

A self shot photograph which was part of my last year examination project.
It got published on a Dutch catalogue.



How would you describe your style?

My style is continuously mutating. It’s in motion. My photography is pretty varied as is my style. Shooting for the site has definitely changed it. I used to be always an art photographer. I worked with models but on a different level. My photographs were mainly black & white images.
 SG gave me the possibility to embrace a new layer. Capture models’ sexyness, beauty and creativity through their body, moves, peculiarities.

What gear do you use?

I currently use a canon 5D Mark II. I have a few lenses, which I like to switch depending on what the subject is and where I’m shooting. I also have an old Nikon F2 which I’ve started to use again lately, and a fewmore, but due to work and media I mostly use my Canon.



How important is Photoshop in your final images?

Since I work on digital images Photoshop has become essential for color correction and to adjust lighting. Needless to say, Photoshop and Lightroom have both become the digital dark room of our future, although, for the most part, good results should always be done ideally with the settings on the camera itself, before you pull the trigger.




What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

Certainly the model, she is my very first inspiration. I do travel quite often and I am a big observer of spaces, landscape and whatever my eyes capture. Music videos, literature, magazines are a big inspirations as well.



What is your favorite image?

I couldn’t pick just one.

Tell us why it’s your fave and how you achieved it?

I love working with Janette and everything we did together. She is one of my favorite models I’ve been collaborating with. She is an artist, a performer, and a friend.




Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven’t?

I want to photograph a lot more girls, people, anyone who communicates a feeling, a sensation, weather positive or not. People that can tell a storywith their facial and body expressions.
 Among the SG models, probably the first one who comes to my mind would now be Vice. I have adored her since I joined the site. Manko is another artist I would love to collaborate with.
 I fell in love with her mind, her thoughts, her creativity. She is so inspirational in so many ways. Chunny has intrigued me since always. Or Amina, just to mention another one.

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In Focus: The Photographers of SuicideGirls feat. Talena
In Focus: The Photographers of SuicideGirls feat. Lavonne
In Focus: The Photographers of SuicideGirls feat. DarrylDarko
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by Blogbot

Featuring Vega (the Chihuahua) and Sydney (the Doberman Pinscher) – Pictured with their mistresses ViquiV (L) and Jessytai (R).

Sydney and her mom (social media maven Jessytai) are the newest members of the SuicideGirls HQ team. Sydney really loves her fellow four-legged co-worker Vega, and since they’re so damn cute together, we thought we ought to introduce them to you…

• NAME: Sydney
• INTO: Snuggling, sleeping, treats, warm beds and sunbathing.
• NOT INTO: Loud noises, the rain, and being alone.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: When my mommy gives me the plate to “clean off” when she’s done eating.
• MAKES ME SAD: When my mommy leaves.
• HOBBIES: Sleeping.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My mommy, treats, my best friend Yogi, my stairs that go up to my mommy’s bed – oh and did I already say treats?
• VICES: Barking at the mail man (I’m such a cliché, I know!).
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Sleeping or begging for food.

• NAME: Vega
• INTO: Laps, sunshine, and stuffed animals.
• NOT INTO: The rain, thunder, intruders, and pooping in the dark.
• MAKES ME HAPPY: Getting attention.
• MAKES ME SAD: Being left alone.
• HOBBIES: Chasing my tail, day dreaming, and being cute.
• 5 THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: My stuffed monkey, my stuffed tiger, my rope, chicken treats, and a good comfy lap.
• VICES: Barking at Postal workers, delivery men/women or pretty much anyone coming to the door.
• I SPEND MOST OF MY FREE TIME: Cuddling.

More Beyond Cute Posts:
Nahp Suicide, Ultima Suicide, Oogie Suicide, Rin Suicide, Tita Suicide, Kraven Suicide, Kemper Suicide, Leandra Suicide, Selahh Suicide, Lunar Suicide, Pia Suicide, Creepy Suicide, Shaddix Suicide, Ryker Suicide, Corgan Suicide, Selene Suicide, Eden Suicide, Venom Suicide, Corgan Suicide, Kewpie Suicide, Jamity Suicide, Epiic Suicide, Patton Suicide, MnemoZyne Suicide, Frolic Suicide, Shotgun Suicide, Phecda Suicide, Lavezzaro Suicide, Rourke Suicide, Antigone Suicide, King Suicide, Clio Suicide, Exning Suicide, Aadie Suicide, Pilot Suicide, Persephone Suicide, Luana Suicide, Fraise Suicide, Cheri Suicide, Jensen Suicide, Radeo Suicide, Lorelei Suicide, Scotty Suicide, Milloux Suicide, Psyche Suicide, Scotty Suicide, GoGo Suicide, Rambo Suicide, Sash Suicide

by Blogbot

Artist / SG Member Name: My real name is Gary Mike, and my SG member name is Guss1470. Guss is just a name I like and used while online but I am starting to use my real name more often.

Mission Statement: For my art I really don’t have one. I just like to draw and find out what I can do. The first and main purpose for my art is my own enjoyment, challenge, and to see people enjoy my work. I want to see if I can do it. I like to try different styles just to see if I can.

Medium: Well anything I can get my hands on. I think anything can be a medium but the main one I use is pencil and pen. With my computer it’s a Bamboo and Photoshop. I draw my art on paper first then scan, touch up or trace in Photoshop then color. In the past I have worked with watercolor, color pencil, acrylic, chalk, and clay. I even thought of buying a load of makeup from Mary Kay just to play with skin tones in my art.

Aesthetic: I really don’t know. I like sketchy style, clean style. It’s like the question “who is your favorite band” – it just depends on your mood, what your doing, and how your feeling.

Notable Achievements: I think just making people smile with my art. I really am not aiming for anything when I do my art except to challenge myself and make you smile.

Why We Should Care: Not to sound mean, but you don’t have to. If no one cared about my art I still would be doing the same thing. I have been doing this since I was 3 or 4 and this is what I do for fun. I don’t know any other way. I don’t consider my work special. I draw all the time and throw away my sketches and finished work cause I can do it again. I have given away sketch books to friends, my ex, and to random people because I’m done with them and have no reason to keep them. I think it’s the people that see my art that consider it special so the question goes to you: Why do you like my art???

I Want Me Some: I don’t do contests, I don’t sell my art, I have no political agenda. If you want me to draw something I’ll do it for free. If I have time, all you have to do is ask. You can also check out my work on DeviantArt.

[..]

by Tita Suicide

There has been a copy of Betty Crocker’s Cookbook in my house for as long as I can remember. You know the one…It’s bright red, with white lettering, and regardless of the edition, features over 1000 recipes from green bean casserole, to New York cheesecake.

The first one I recall seeing was my Grandma’s tattered and well loved 1950 edition. Then there was my Mum’s hardcover, published in the1980s. And now I have my very own copy, the soft cover, with a spiral spine. (Of course I have my Grandma’s original tucked away safely for nostalgia’s sake.)

According to my Gran, recipes such as this one were a staple in war-time kitchens everywhere. Since fresh groceries were of high value, and often in low supply, it was common to bake with recipes that didn’t require valuable commodities such as butter and eggs. In modern times, baking without these items is more likely to be a lifestyle choice, or dietary consideration, rather than necessity. In my case, I often bake to accommodate the needs and likes of my friends. There are a few vegetarians, several vegans, and one who cannot eat too much protein.

And so, with its lack of eggs, milk or butter, this “accidentally vegan” cake recipe is easily the most well loved page in my Betty Crocker cookbook. (The drips of batter, and spills that adorn the page serve as proof.) – Tita Suicide (a.k.a. @Cupcakedujour)

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour*
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup baking cocoa
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon white or cider vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 cup cold water

*I often substitute wheat-free flour in this recipe, and it comes out just as nicely!

Directions:

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Grease bottom and side of 9-inch round pan or 8-inch square pan with shortening; lightly flour.

3. In a medium bowl, mix flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda and salt. In a small bowl, stir oil, vinegar and vanilla until well mixed. Vigorously stir oil mixture and oil into flour mixture about 1 minute or until well blended. Immediately pour into pan.

4. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 15 minutes.

5. Top / decorate as desired.

6. As prepared (without frosting), each serving contains 230 calories, 10g total fat, 0mg cholesterol, 310mg sodium, 37g total carbohydrate and 3g protein.

If you’re in the Seattle area this weekend you can experience more of Tita Suicide’s hospitality at Lo-Fi on April 1st at the SuicideGirls Take The Northwest soiree to mark the closing night of Emerald City Comic Con. Full details can be found here.

[..]

by Nahp Suicide

Zoetica is a photographer, painter, the proprietress of the popular art and style blog Biorequiem, a co-founder of Coilhouse Magazine, and an occasional cosmonomad. She hails from Moscow, but resides in Los Angeles, California. She has been a photographer for SuicideGirls since 2006, and has shot more than 100 sets for the site.

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

Fractal (a friend of a friend at the time, now a good friend of mine), had scouted me to model. I explained that I was actually in search of a steady job at the time, and she suggested I come in to interview for an intern position. I quickly became a design assistant and, eventually, Sean suggested I try my hand at shooting sets. For a time I also worked as the SG photography coordinator, style technician and in-house photo-editor.



What’s your background photography-wise?

I’m self-taught, having taken photos obsessively my entire life. Before digital, I took cheap little film cameras everywhere – and have seven scrapbooky photo albums to prove it! 



What was the first photo you had published?

I honestly don’t remember. Probably something in one of my schools’ yearbooks or something in a zine.



How would you describe your style?

Obsessive. When I work with SGs, I often ask them to hold a pose for several minutes at a time, while I capture every nuance.
 In my other work, this is true as well. I look at every detail, search for secret spaces and details, whether I’m shooting a portrait, an editorial, a forest, or a steaming breakfast plate (I love food photography – I even break out a macro lens for that sometimes!). My goal is to capture the feeling of the moment, the texture, the energy. The smell, too, if possible. 



What gear do you use?

Generally, I keep it simple: Canon 5D and a 35 1:4 lens, available light only.




How important is Photoshop in your final images?

It depends entirely on the image and the mood I’m after that day. For SG, I tend to stick with minimal retouching and color correction for the most part, but some sets call for a more stylized approach. 



What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

I feed my brain as much as time allows – good input yields good output.




What is your favorite image?

It has to be this one (see above) of Radeo, from our set called, Prisoner.

Tell us why it’s your fave and how you achieved it?

I think it still might be my favorite set of mine. There was almost no light aside from a far-away overhead fixture, and it worked out perfectly in helping us create the foreboding atmosphere we had in mind.



Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven’t?

No – I want to shoot everything, all the time. Like I said – I’m obsessive!

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