by Blogbot

Shotgun Suicide promises to forgo fried food and the F-word.

What are your resolutions for 2011?

(Leave them in the comments section below.)

by Laurelin

The word “zing” is not in my vocabulary. I don’t remember ever having said it, nor have I ever heard it used in everyday conversation. However, I’m pretty sure when used in the context of a message during a particularly nasty text war with the ex, the word “zing” is equivalent to “fuck you.”

Breaking up is never easy. Everyone is quick to weigh in on your breakup once they hear about it. I’ve heard it all: the voicemail breakup, the post it breakup (how very Sex in the City of him), the text message breakup. Then there were the pep talks: the my-relationship-was-longer-than-yours-so-it-was-worse pep talk, the you’re-better-off-without-him pep talk, and, my personal favorite, the why-would-you-be-upset-about-him-he’s-wearing-a-velour-track-suit-in-public pep talk. People just want to help you get though, it’s heartwarming and gut wrenching at the same time.

I lucked out and got dumped while my [ex] boyfriend was blackout drunk and trying to get me to watch Youtube videos of The Muppets. All of a sudden, it wasn’t working out and here I am, wide eyed and trying to figure out what to do now while he falls into a blissful alcoholic coma next to me. I must have dozed off at some point, because I woke up a few hours later to the alarming sounds of someone sleep-peeing in the corner. I mopped up the urine that soaked my Complete Works of Shakespeare and threw away the last two years with the soggy paper towels. For some strange reason I felt like things could only go up from there.

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by SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I’m young, 18 years to be exact, and I was hoping that maybe you girls could give me some advice. Here’s the story…Earlier this year, around the middle of February, I started seeing this girl. We’d talked a few times before, and had gotten to know each other pretty well. She started coming over to where I live and we just hung out, played some games, and just bonded.

As you probably already figured out, we had feelings towards each other even though the relationship only lasted a little over a month. I was devastated. I tried to talk her out of it, but I couldn’t. I broke down and though three months passed, the feelings I had for her never left. I tried talking to her in July, only to find out that she hates me. So I stopped talking to her and attempted to block her out of my mind, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind either. These days, I’ve been thinking about her more and more, but she hates me and is now married. What would you do? Some advice would help, if you’re up to it. Sorry it was long and boring.

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by Brad Warner

Only a few more days before the annual War On Christmas ends! So get your shots in quick!

Ever since returning to the United States after spending eleven years of my life in Japan, the furor over Christmas has been especially amusing to me. Add to this the fact that I’m a Buddhist and not a Christian or an atheist – those being the two groups who are most upset about the matter – and I find it extra double-double hilarious (with whipped cream on top).

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By SG’s Team Agony

Let us answer life’s questions – because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.

Q. I’m 21-years of age and I’ve been going through a lot. I’ve known a girl for about 8 years and we’ve always been off and on. We stopped talking for 3 years and when we started talking again in April I found out she had a baby. That didn’t bother me. She was no longer with the father of her son but they still kept in contact and her son was still able to see his dad every week. She and I decided to get together and I treated her son as if he was my own. I fell in love with her son – he made me feel so happy when I was around him.

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by Blogbot

They say blondes have more fun, but judging by a recent poll conducted by SuicideGirls the old adage doesn’t ring true anymore.

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by Andrea Larrabee

“I’m old fashioned and modern at the same time,” Rachel Federoff tells me at one point during our phone interview. As a key player in the hit Bravo TV show Millionaire Matchmaker – which is now in its fourth and most successful season to date – Federoff must reconcile her intrinsically alternative self with the always outspoken and often very traditional beliefs of her mentor Patti Stanger, who founded the Millionaire’s Club, the elite matchmaking service upon which the show is based.

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